


Moon

by amunet_rose



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dark Reylo, F/F, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Gray Jedi, Gray Jedi Kylo Ren, Gray Jedi Rey (Star Wars), Jedi Ben Solo, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, M/M, Multi, Original Character(s), Polyamory, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Rey Needs A Hug, Seduction to the Dark Side, Star Wars Polyamory Week, The Dark Side of the Force, The Force
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:15:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24150442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amunet_rose/pseuds/amunet_rose
Summary: What would happen if a Resistance fighter named Amunet was able to bring Ben Solo and Rey together? What if she was the missing piece in their story?-~-Imma keep it real. Every decision in this story is purely selfish. I’m not sure if people will enjoy my selfish decisions but here we go. This has Ben Solo redemption kinda. He will not be whiny. He will not make excuses for his actions. I like the dark side, not gunna lie. I'm thinking more Gray Jedi here. I thought it would have been a great thing to explore in the movies.Another thing, this will have a polyamorous relationship in it. I have accepted it and you should too. I hate love triangles! Let's move on from them, yes? I want both Ben Solo and Rey, so this is me being selfish (again) and bisexual af. M for violence and sex later on. Oh and I only will write this when I am:z-o-o-t-e-d!!Treat yourself, am I right? I kinda wanna see if it changes how I write. Sorry for no sexy summary. I thought it would be better just to be real?
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron & Finn, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/OC
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. special training

**  
** _"Whatever you are looking for, is looking for you too."_

_-S. Williams_ **  
**

“Moon!” a voice yelled.

I opened my eyes, searching for where the voice came from. It interrupted my meditation. Meditation was a regular practice for me and with the rebel base on an uninhabited planet, the forest was the best place to go. It kept me calm in stressful situations.

The voice finally appeared. It was Finn, a stormtrooper turned rebel. A hero among heroes. He was a rebellion celebrity.

My knowledge and fighting style are how I met Finn officially. I'm known for my combat skills. Since my father was also a rebel, he trained his only daughter since infancy. Therefore, Leia left me in charge of training newcomers. When Finn rolled in, I was the one to assess his skill. As a stormtrooper, he was trained to fight since he was a child. Though our weapon skills varied, the First Order had access to far superior weaponry, we were matched in combat. It was a pleasure to spar with him. After that, it didn’t take long for us to become friends.

“Leia wants to speak to us,” he yelled to me, cupping his hands around him mouth like a megaphone disk. He waved me toward him. Even from our distance, I could see his eyebrows pulled together. He must be nervous about Leia requesting our presence. The rebellion leader calling on you was either exceptionally good or incredibly bad.

I stood from the dirt I was sitting on, put on my shoes that sat in the dirt beside me and ran to him. “What do you think she wants?”

Finn shrugged. “I’m not sure. If I had to guess, I think she’s sending us on a mission.”

We both walked towards the base. It was a structure that was mostly underground, with little shown on the surface of the planet. Rebels disguised themselves as miners to start the build. After three months, we were officially done building.

“I heard there is a spy in the First Order. Is that true?” I asked, looking at him as we walked. He didn’t return my gaze and kept his eyes forward.

“Yes, but it’s hard to know if we can trust it. Anyone could say they are a spy and give us misinformation. I know how brainwashed they all are and how hard it is to break out of it.”

There was a flash of horror in the young man’s eyes as he spoke. My whole life was surrounded by the rebellion. I had family and love in every rebel. How horrendous it must have been for Finn, manipulated into submission and forced to commit atrocities.

We reached the cave entrance. It was closed off by a massive door that was cleverly painted to look like rock. Finn lifted the comlink on his wrist to his mouth, tapped it and called out the code. After a few moments, the large door slid open, revealing the entrance. To an outsider, it would look like a normal cave entrance. Once you stepped through, it opened into the military base. It took months for them to carve out the rock and transform it. It was filled with scanners and screens showing the outlay of the surrounding galaxy. We were prepared to know the minute the First Order knows our whereabouts.

After what happened on Crait, when we were cornered by the First Order, it rejuvenated the Resistance. Everyone walked with more determination. They fought a little harder and worked a little longer. Everyone wanted to survive to spite the First Order.

We walked towards the middle of the cave, where the large projector sat. Around the projector were seats for fighters to gather. This is where Leia held meetings and where news of the rebellion movement was discussed. Leia stood with her eyes on the projector. Above her was galaxy coordinates to where Luke Skywalker was hiding. She looked at them frequently.

Luke Skywalker died, saving them all in his efforts to stop the First Order. Still, Leia looked at the planet where he hid often. Perhaps she wanted to believe he was still there hiding.

“General,” Finn began. “Amunet and I are here at your request.”

Leia turned the projector off and looked at them. There was something always glinting in her eyes. It was something I could never completely decipher. There was wisdom and perhaps a glimmer of youth still. It took a special woman to keep that look in her eye after losing all that she has. “I’m glad, please have a seat.”

Finn and I did as she told. We sat and looked at her eagerly. I was waiting to hear about my next mission, eager to see action again.

“There is something I have noticed in both of you. Something… special.” Her eyes flashed to Finn. “I’m sure it’s something you have picked up on.”

Amunet looked at Finn and then back to the general. Finn's only response was a firm nod.

“I sense a great deal of power in both of you. As you know, I am putting Rey through special training. I called on the two of you to see if you would consider being part of that special training as well.”

“Special training?” I asked, my heart skipping a beat. I knew, of course, what kind of special training Rey was doing. She was the topic of every conversation at the base. I didn’t know what it had to do with me. As far as I could tell, I was not special.

Leia nodded with a sly smile on her face. “Yes. I believe you both to be Force sensitive. If trained, it can be of great use to the rebellion. My brother, Luke, trained many Force sensitive men and women. My son included.”

Amunet watched the sadness flash across her face. It was painful to speak of Kylo Ren, especially after what happened on Crait. The First Order almost killed us all at the order of Leia’s own son.

“Rey is far more advanced, of course. Still, I couldn’t pretend I didn’t know about the two of you. My brother would have encouraged your training. Of course, his teaching ability far surpasses mine, but it will have to do.”

“Forgive me, General Organa,” I began, looking down at my hands. I was fidgeting. “But I don’t think I am Force sensitive. I’ve never… moved anything with my mind.”

Leia chuckled and her eyes softened. “My dear, there is so much more to the Force than just moving things with your mind.”

Finn nodded as if he understood everything she was saying. I was still confused. Leia walked closer to us. She bent over and looked at me deeply. It made my heartbeat quicken, as if she could read my thoughts when standing so close.

“Have you ever… felt like something bad was going to happen before it happened? When you meditate in the forest, do you ever sense power moving within you?” she asked.

My eyes widened. How did she know? “I thought I was just… intuitive.”

She shook her head with a smile. “You are more than intuitive. I can see it,” she reassured. She then looked at Finn. “You already know that you are, don’t you?"

“Yes,” he answered honestly. “At first I thought I was only imagining what I was feeling. After spending so much time with Rey, I wasn’t sure it if was really happening to me.”

“There is a reason you found her, Finn.” Leia stood up straight. “There is a reason we can gather here today. The Force is stronger than anyone can fully grasp, and it has a way of bringing special people together.”

“Then I accept your invitation,” Finn smiled. “It would be an honor to receive any training from you.”

Leia smiled genuinely. She looked down at me, who was still fidgeting with uncertainty. I couldn’t imagine myself a Jedi. The idea of being able to manipulate that type of energy wasn’t in my plan. I thought I’d follow in my father’s footsteps. I’d serve the rebellion as much as I could, until my dying breath.

I pictured Luke standing before the entire First Order. It was the most powerful thing I’d ever seen. One man against an army. I imagined myself standing in the same spot, facing enemies with more power than any weapon. Could I really have that chance?

I stood and held out my hand to her. “It would be an honor. I hope I live up to every expectation.”

Leia grabbed my hand firmly. When our skin touched, I felt something surge through my body. I realized I never touched Leia before. It was an energy exchanged between them. Leia must have felt it too. There was a twinkle in her eye as she spoke. “You always live up to expectation, surpassed it even. Just as your father had.”

Her words meant a lot to me. I nodded and when I released her hand, my skin was still buzzing. Whatever Force was within Leia, it was powerful. Who wouldn’t want that type of power?

* * *

I thought that would be a good place to end it. I know, not exceedingly long and no Rey or Ben. Still, I hope you get the feel of my writing. I’m excited about this story.

I have the second chapter written already and will post when I'm finished editing it. Comments are much appreciated!

-A


	2. visons

Training started the next day. Leia ordered me to arrive at the cave entrance early in the morning. Training would be away from the base so we wouldn’t be interrupted. I was the second to arrive, Finn being the first. I was anxious to finally meet Rey. We've seen each other in passing, but never had a formal introduction. My knowledge of her was only known through gossip. Still, when she walked into a room, energies shifted in response.

“Are you nervous?” Finn asked, smiling. I could tell he was ecstatic. He was bouncing on his toes like he was about to spar. It made me chuckle.

“Of course, I’m nervous. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here.”

This made him laugh, covering his mouth with his fist. Almost as if to cover up his own laughter. I found it an interesting behavior. “Yeah, me too.”

I felt a shift in the energy. Finn looked past me with a bigger smile. I turned to see Rey approaching. I swallowed hard, feeling nervous suddenly.

Finn walked past me, and they hugged tightly. Rey seemed genuinely happy to see him. It made me feel warm inside, looking at her face. Her doe eyes were a rich chestnut brown, her eyelashes dark and long. Her brown hair was always pulled back, apart from a few wisps that fell down the sides of her face. I watched her smile while Finn spoke to her, laugh lines forming near her eyes. Everything that came from her was light and good. It was quite beautiful.

When she looked at me, I straightened, extended my hand and smiled warmly. “Hello, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’m Amunet.”

Rey smiled at me and walked over with an extended hand. When our skin touched, I felt something shoot up my arm and expand in my chest. Rey’s smile subsided slightly, making me think that she felt it too. Soon neither of us were smiling, just staring at each other with our hands still connected.

My vision started to blur but instead of panicking, I felt unusually calm. When my vision sharpened, I was in a dark room. Only dim, red lights were shining behind two figures in front of me. I couldn’t see their faces, the light caused them to be silhouetted. I felt my body start to tingle and a hunger grow in my belly.

The feeling reminded me of what you feel after breaking a rule and getting away with it. It made me think of the time my father forbid me to date a certain reb named Jakub Kizmarten. He was too reckless for my father’s taste. I would sneak away to be with him and the whole time, I felt this same feeling.

The silhouettes held out one hand to me, and without a second thought, I reached my hand out to touch them. The hunger in my stomach clawed at me, like a monster desperate to come out.

When our hands touched, my vision blurred again. Within seconds, I saw Rey standing in front of me. Her eyes were wide. Her mouth hung open as if shocked by what just happened. I imagined my expression matched hers.

“Is… everything okay?” Finn asked.

I blinked for what seemed like the first time in hours. I forgot Finn was even there. Rey let go of my hand and I let it drop to my side. “What did you see?” she asked, ignoring Finn.

“Two people in front of me, but I couldn’t see their face.” I thought about the feeling that was still dancing around in my blood. “They both reached their hands out to me. I grabbed it and then I saw you again.”

She tried to hide the confusion she felt with a smile, but I could see it clearly. Her eyes watered a little. “I saw the same thing.”

“Sorry I’m late!” we heard a voice call. It was Leia, appearing from inside the cave. “A meeting ran late.”

We all looked at her and in a second, she knew something was wrong.

“What happened?” she asked.

“When we shook hands…” Rey began. She swallowed hard, as if her mouth were dry. “We saw a vision.”

“Explain it to me, please.”

As Rey described what we saw, I couldn’t help but wonder if she felt the same feeling I did during our vision. I wondered what it meant and why it only happened when I touched her. Was her heart beating as quickly as mine?

“That’s very interesting,” Leia said, with caution. “I know it has happened to you before, right Rey?”

Rey looked saddened briefly. She looked down at her feet. “Yes, when I touched hands with Kylo Ren.”

I couldn’t imagine Rey touching that monster. Of all the rumors and gossip whispered about her, I never heard that story. Leia nodded, her lips a fine line. “Perhaps you are connected to both in a certain way. I will think on it, thank you for telling me.”

Rey looked back at me. She smiled and slightly shrugged her shoulders. I smiled in return and felt a blush creep up my neck. I wish I knew why having her eyes on me made me feel so self-conscious.

“Well, let’s get on with our training regardless,” Leia spoke, smiling at the three standing before her. “When training to be a Jedi, foundation is everything. Now, Rey is more advanced than you two, my brother helped her to build that foundation. Therefore, her training is more advanced. Finn and Amunet, you will focus on feeling the Force within you and manipulating it to your advantage. If you skip a step, it can be disastrous.”

“We’re ready, master,” Finn smiled. He seemed all too happy to be giving her the title. It made Leia happy too. I wondered if she ever thought she’d be training someone to be a Jedi. Surely, that always fell to Luke.

“Good,” Leia gave a firm nod, then brought her thumb and index fingers to her lips. Her whistle was loud and soon after, a X-34 Landspeeder zoomed out of the cave entrance. In the driving seat was Poe Dameron. He had a cocky grin and his eyes went right to Finn. “Hop in, Poe will be our driver today. He’s taking us to the training grounds.”

Leia sat in the passenger seat, while Rey, Finn and I squeezed in the back. I was grateful for Finn sitting in the middle. After what happened, I should be uncomfortable touching Rey. Still, my hands tingled with the temptation. I didn’t know if I would see anything a second time, but the hunger for that feeling was clear.

“Now, thankfully we were able to get some volunteers to clear this area for us,” Leia spoke as Poe drove. The path was just wide enough to fit the speeder, but Poe maneuvered it perfectly. He drove fast but that was not shocking to me. I’ve known Poe ever since he joined the rebellion. He was rash, cocky and a low-key adrenaline junkie. Still, he was a good pilot, even better than me. He understood vehicles and machines like they could speak to each other. Rumor was he was going to take Leia’s place someday.

We reached the large field that had been cut back by rebs. The middle had three large boulders, forming a triangle. Beside the end of the path was a cargo container. Poe pulled up beside it and stopped the speeder. Everyone got out and Poe walked towards the container. Inside was an array of training gear.

“Now, Rey,” Leia began. Poe handed Rey two strips of white cloth and she began quickly wrapping her hands with it. “You will be running the training course again. This time you will be doing it without sight. Only when you can complete the entire course without failing, will we move onto something more advanced.”

Poe handed her a helmet that shielded her vision. She took it without question. Leia pull back her robe and took a lightsaber from her hilt. I felt a shiver run down my spine. Oddly enough, I could see Rey looking at me out of my peripheral vision, as I stared at the saber. When I looked at her, she quickly averted her gaze. Leia handed Rey the weapon. Poe grabbed a mechanic ball and tapped it’s side. It was a training remote. That type of droid was commonly used in combat training. They shot sting beams and darted around. It improved trainees’ reflexes.

Rey gave Leia a nod and a smile before she ran from the group. The small droid flew after her. Towards the opposite end of the field, there was a path marked with a red ribbon.

We watched her stand at the beginning of the path. She put the helmet on her head and after a few moments of bouncing on her toes, took off running in the forest.

“Amunet and Finn, your exercises will be much less physical, but just as tiring.” As Leia spoke, Poe grabbed two more shielded helmets and handed them to us. “What takes years, you must master in months. It will not be easy. Each day will be harder than the last. I will ask the best of you and accept nothing less. Is that understood?”

I nodded eagerly, feeling anxiety crawl up my neck. I didn’t want to disappoint her.

“Do you see those boulders?” she asked, pointing to the middle of the field. “Go to them, sit across from one another. I want you to put your helmet on and silence every thought that pertains to what is outside this field. Amunet, this is something familiar to you, yes?”

“Yes, I meditate daily,” I answered.

“Good,” she smirked. “Since you are more familiar with silencing your thoughts, I want you to really focus on your feelings. Focus on energies around you and accept them. This is something Finn is used to, after being around Rey so much.”

I looked over at Finn, who looked as determined as I felt inside.

\---

“It’s important to stay relaxed.” I heard Leia’s voice. She seemed right next to me, though I knew she wasn’t. “Chaotic energy only brings more chaos. Let the Force surrounding you be a source of calmness. Let it flow through you.”

I focused on my breathing. It was what I usually did when I meditated. The helmet was snug around my big, curly hair. It made me feel a bit claustrophobic, but I continued listening to my breathing. Soon, Leia’s voice began to fade. Another sound became clearer by the second. I could hear my own heartbeat. It felt like a song, with my breathing adding a sort of harmony to it. Before long, my body began to feel a bit numb. A warmth spread across my back. I felt this feeling before but didn’t think it was too extraordinary. I figured everyone felt it when they meditated. It was a way of disconnecting from your own body. I wondered if this feeling was the Force.

_It is._

Hearing someone else’s voice in my mind startled me, causing me to jump slightly. It was Leia’s voice. Could she really enter my mind?

 _I can see the Force dancing around you. Hold your hands out, palms facing each other_.

I did as she told me. As soon as I did, I felt heat generating between my hands.

_That heat you feel is the Force. Slowly bring your hands closer together._

I took a deep breath and as my palms got closer together, it felt like something solid was pushing against my skin. I exhaled sharply at the realization.

_Focus on it and push it towards Finn._

I imagined a ball in my hand. As I exhaled, I imagined myself throwing it towards Finn. I heard something crash. I ripped the helmet off my head. The sudden brightness caused my eyes to sting. Through the tears forming, I could see that Finn fell off his boulder. I wiped my eyes and looked at Leia.

“Very good,” she said aloud, with a light laugh. “Finn, are you alright?”

He climbed back up on the rock, eyes wild with excitement. “Yes, I’m okay. Moon, did you do that? That was incredible!”

I couldn’t believe I was able to manipulate the Force. Deep inside, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to do it. Seeing evidence of what is possible was encouraging.

“Now,” Leia walked closer to the boulders. “Finn, I want you to try to return the favor. The Force comes easily to you both, as if waiting to give itself to you.”

Finn nodded with determination. After Leia lifted the helmet to him, he put it on eagerly. I did the same and let darkness engulf me yet again. I took deep breaths, waiting to be pushed at any moment. Leia was encouraging Finn aloud, saying the same things she whispered in my head.

Even though I was blinded, I could almost feel the energy building in Finn. I opened myself to whatever he was going to throw at me.

 _Come on_ , I thought. _You can do it._

I heard a heartbeat, but I knew it wasn’t mine. It was in a frenzy. Could it be Finn’s? Before I had time to decide, I felt something coming towards me. I held up my hands instinctively but still fell off the boulder.

I landed on my side, took off my helmet and started laughing. I couldn’t help but holler at our accomplishment. Finn hollered too, pumping his fist in the air.

“Very good, you two,” the elder woman said once her laughter subsided. “Amunet, I noticed you held up your hands. You felt Finn’s attack coming, didn't you?”

“Yes, I did.” I crawled on the boulder again. “I couldn’t stop it, though.”

Leia smiled. “Then try it again. This time use your feelings to sense the attack coming. Imagine a shield in front of you, capable of absorbing the blow. This may take some time, but do not give up. I sense Rey is struggling, so I must go to her. Please, continue.”

Finn and I watched Leia walk towards the path. We practiced for hours. I was pushed off my boulder more times than I care to remember. Each time, our push got stronger. Therefore, it was harder to stop.

Leia was gone for a while, I assumed she was watching Rey. I wondered what the course Rey was on looked like. I wished I were on the same level as her. Something pushed me to be her equal, though I didn’t know if that was even possible.

Even though I had my helmet on, I could feel Leia’s presence. I felt Rey’s even stronger. They must have returned from the training course. I wanted to take my helmet off but resisted the temptation. It was my turn to attack Finn. I focused on my breathing and held my hands out to feel the Force build between them.

I focused so intently, I felt sweat form on my forehead. The harder I focused, the hotter my hands felt. Then I pushed it towards Finn with all my strength. I heard him yell and immediately took off my helmet. Finn was at least twenty feet away from his boulder.

“Finn!” I yelled, getting off my boulder. I ran towards him, followed by Rey and Leia. He groaned and opened his eyes slowly.

“Damn, Moon. That was like a punch to the gut,” he groaned, his hand over his stomach. Leia looked away from Finn and planted her eyes on Rey. They looked at each other and seemed to have a secret conversation.

I quickly helped Finn to his feet. “I am so sorry, Finn. Are you hurt?” I asked.

“No, don’t apologize,” he reassured me once he was standing. “I don’t want you to hold back. That was some serious power.”

“Agreed,” Leia chimed in, finally looking away from Rey. “You two work well together. I’m relieved. This will help your progress.”

I dared to look over at Rey. She seemed to be examining me with her beautiful, doe eyes. Like before, I felt a blush spread across my cheeks. Why was I so nervous with her eyes on me?

I quickly averted my gaze and focused on the grass below me instead.

“I think we’ve done enough training for today. You’ve all made great progress. I’m thoroughly impressed. We will meet at the same time tomorrow and continue.”

-

Does watching Jedi training bore some? Probably. Does it bore me? Not at all! :) I love watching Jedi's train in any of the movies. I couldn't shy away from it. And you already know I had to get zaddy Poe on the scene lol

The third chapter is already written. I'll post when I'm done editing. <3

p.s. thank you @MAF101 for commenting<333


	3. bond

Three weeks into our training and I still laid restlessly in my bed. Since training left me exhausted physically, I thought sleep would only come easier. Instead, it became almost impossible to relax. I felt on edge. As if at any moment, I’d have to put my training into action. All I could do was stare at the top bunk. The women’s quarters were silent, apart from a few still whispering to each other.

I decided to go for a walk and clear my head. Only in the forest were you able to be completely alone with your thoughts. It calmed me.

Not many were awake at this hour, though there was always someone stationed to watch the scanners. Shifts changed and people were rotated, but it was never left unattended. The graveyard workers showed no interest in me, their eyes firmly on the screens.

Once outside, the cold wind whipped around me. I probably should have brought a jacket. My pajamas were thin.

I didn’t want to wander too far, knowing there were wild animals on this planet. Not many were dangerous, but I didn’t feel like running from any deadly beasts.

I looked up into the sky and saw thousands of stars winking at me. This planet had two moons, one slightly bigger than the other. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

Grass, mud and water.

The smells engulfed my lungs and with every passing second, I felt calmer. Perhaps now I could fall asleep.

“I have nothing to say to you.”

I heard a faint whisper and crouched down. It was too far away to know who it was coming from. Instead of running inside like I should have, I decided to investigate. It was coming from a nearby path that lead to the top of the cave.

I had hiked it with Poe once. We made a bet on who would reach the top first. I won, of course.

As I got closer, the voice became a bit clearer. “That doesn’t excuse what you did!”

I stopped dead in my tracks. It was Rey. I debated for a moment and almost turned around. Something, however, was pulling me towards her voice. In the three weeks we’ve trained together, I never heard Rey sound so angry. She got frustrated, yes, but never this angry.

She was standing on the top of the cave. It was tall enough to overlook a large portion of the forest. I snuck behind the closest tree trunk, peeking out to watch her. She was standing alone, her back to me. Her hair was down, falling past her shoulders. I could tell her arms were crossed over her chest.

“Yeah, well, I _know_ what I saw. You can’t avoid the truth forever.”

Who was she talking to? I didn’t want to get too close for fear that she would hear me. After a few minutes, my breathing slowed and I closed my eyes. I tried to hear who she was talking to. Perhaps into a comlink on her wrist? I didn’t remember her wearing one before.

“ _You can’t hide forever. I’ll find you_ _._ ”

This voice was different. It wasn’t Rey. It was deeper, like a man’s voice. Was this who she was talking too? “What makes you think I am hiding from you? Or don’t you remember who actually walked away from the fight?”

“ _You don’t know what you walked away from!_ ” the voice yelled.

The anger in the man’s voice shook me to my core. It was frightening, though Rey didn’t seem at all intimidated by it.

“The dark side has twisted your mind. You think that it’s the best way, but it’s destroying you, Ben.”

She was talking to Leia’s son. I felt the need to leave immediately. My brain instructed my body to move, but my feet were glued to the ground. My eyes followed Rey. She stepped further away, and suddenly an image appeared beside her.

“ _Do **not** call me that_,” he ordered, his voice almost a growl.

He was tall with dark, wavy hair. I could only see his side profile as he watched Rey walk away from him. His fists were clenched. Was Kylo Ren at their base? His body appeared clearly, but his voice echoed as if he was far away from them.

“It’s not to late,” she whispered. It sounded like a plea. I’ve only known Rey for a short time, but it pained me to see her in such a hopeless state. “I’ll help you.”

She turned and looked up at him, her eyes watering. His fists were still clenched and even from where I stood, I could see they were both trembling. “ _When we fought together… I know my offer crossed your mind. I could see it in your eyes. You wanted to take my hand._ ”

She lifted her chin defiantly. “Whose hand? Kylo Ren’s? Or Ben’s?”

I could sense something special about the energy that passed between them. It was like a single heartbeat. They stood in silence for a moment and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Something about their eye contact seemed… intimate. There was tension between them.

I absentmindedly leaned further from the tree trunk I hid behind, to get a better view of them. I lost my footing and stepped on a twig. It snapped so quietly; I couldn’t imagine either of them hearing it.

Kylo Ren looked away from Rey and directly at me. I froze. Rey followed his gaze and her eyes widened when she saw me. I wanted to run away, but I couldn’t move. Was he holding me in place, or was I?

“Amunet?” Rey said breathlessly. Kylo turned his entire body towards me. His expression was dark and intense. His eyes travelled all over my body and I could feel him probing my thoughts. It felt wrong, like someone rummaging through your underwear drawer. I was able to move suddenly, and I walked to the pathway. There was no use in hiding or trying to run away.

“ _Amunet_? _A mythical name_.” He took a step toward me. I could feel his presence come even closer. Something in his dark eyes trapped me in them. It was like falling into a dark, bottomless pit. “ _It means the hidden one_.” An evil smile crept onto his lips. It chilled my bones to see. “ _I sense… power in you_.”

“Go, Amunet,” Rey ordered. “ _Now_.”

Her eyes were angry and that made me angry. Why was she talking to Kylo Ren? Wasn’t he their enemy? I wanted answers.

“ _You made her angry_ ,” he commented. “ _Taking on a student when you are barely a Jedi yourself, **scavenger**?_”

Rey rolled her eyes and walked towards me. As she left him, his body started to fade. We locked eyes and even with Rey approaching, I couldn’t look away. She grabbed my arms and shook me slightly. I felt her energy rummage through mine, it made my stomach warm. “What are you doing up here?”

I focused on her, my eyebrows pulling together in equal frustration. “What are _you_ doing up here talking to Kylo Ren?”

Rey sighed and let go of me. It left me breathless for a second. “It’s complicated.”

I crossed my arms over my chest, giving her a disapproving look. “He’s our enemy, Rey. We are all putting our lives at risk to destroy him.”

Rey ran her fingers into her hair, then covered her face with them. “I know how it looks but we can’t help it.”

“You can’t help it?” I could hear the disgust in my own voice but there was no controlling it.

“Can we please just go inside?” she asked, changing the subject.

“No, not until you explain yourself,” I replied firmly.

She looked at me for what seemed like hours. Then she nodded with a surrendering sigh. “Ren and I… we have a connection in the Force. Unwillingly, of course. Still, it’s a bond that is very, very strong. It allows us to communicate even with light years between us. Before everything that happened on Crait, I was trying to help him. Bring him back to light. It would decrease the number of casualties. Not only that… but Leia could have her son back.”

As frustrated as I was, I found myself believing her. I could feel the emotions she was going through. No one could fake that much pressure. I sighed. “I take it he’s making it difficult?”

She seemed relieved, seeing my faith in her. She almost smiled. “Extremely. Instead of coming to the light, he is determined to turn me to the dark side. He doesn’t seem to realize that every step he takes in the dark, the more it will demand of him.”

“What do you mean?”

She looked away from me for a moment. “When I was training with Luke, I was able to obtain ancient texts from the Jedi masters in our past. There is an entire book on the Sith. I’ve been studying Dark Nilhilus. He was completely consumed by the dark side, both mentally and physically. Eventually, he became a ghost of the dark side that existed only to consume life.”

“Sounds horrific,” I whispered, imagining a ghost with red eyes staring at me. I wondered if I would ever be able to look at the old texts.

“I don’t want that to happen to Ben,” Rey sighed, her eyes showing a flickering sadness.

“If there is a bond between the two of you, how was I able to see him?”

Rey shook her head, seeming just as confused as I felt. “There are times when we can physically transfer ourselves to each other. It’s how we touched hands while I was still training with Luke. We’ve never been able to include another person. Now he has seen you. Not only that, but he sees your potential. His hunt for our base will only become more urgent. Surely if he can’t change me, he will try to turn you or Finn.”

“Does Leia know?”

“No,” she replied while looking away from me. “I don’t want to hurt her. She’s suffered so much already.”

It made sense, as frustrating as it was. Leia lost her whole family to the First Order. Why hurt her more than she already was?

“Amunet,” Rey began. She looked at me with a softness that made me blush. “I’m sure you’ve noticed that there is something happening between us.”

I could hear my heartbeat in my throat. The moons were shining down on us and it illuminated her face. She was so beautiful with her hair down, hugging her cheeks. I inadvertently looked down at her lips before returning my gaze to her eyes.

“When we are near each other, we become more powerful. It happens when there is a bond. I don’t know why it happened. Just like with Ben, when we touched for the first time, we saw a vision.”

“What vision did you see when you touched him?” I asked, interrupting her. I couldn’t contain my curiosity.

“I saw his future and he saw my past. I saw him fighting beside me, light inside him. He saw my parents, leaving me on Jakku…” Her thought seemed to get lost in the memory.

“The vision we saw was the same, though. That doesn’t make sense.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “No, it doesn’t. Still, every time we touch, I feel the bond get stronger.”

“It sounds strange… but when you are around, I feel better. It’s like I wasn’t as full before we touched and now, I know what it’s like when the glass isn’t as empty.” My entire face was hot as I spoke. I knew I must have been red but hoped the moonlight would hide it. “I have to fight the urge to touch you almost every day.”

Rey didn’t respond right away. Instead, my words hung in the air between us. I watched as she held her hand out to me. My body tingled at the sight. I took it in my own hand without a second thought. I felt her heartbeat pulsing as the surge of emotion entered. It was fast, just like mine. There were so many emotions flowing through me, and I couldn’t understand them. Did she feel the same way I did?

 _I do_.

-

I am thriving. My crops are watered. My face is clear. We have bisexuals in our midst.

Also, that last line was indeed from Rey, and she said it telepathically. I’m trying to make this progress as naturally as I can, but I’m sure you can sense my impatience.

Rey and Ben are a dyad, this does not include Amunet. However, the bond Amunet will share with both is strong and important. My thinking is Amunet is a glue that keeps them together, the ingredient missing in their relationship. They will still have a strong bond in the Force. It makes my heart swell just thinking about it.

AND Rey will not be a Palpatine. His old, wrinkly ass is not in this story. He is dead and gone. Never to be seen again. We are moving on from him. There will be a villain, trust me. The same type of evil will be in my story, just not his stupid ass.

p.s. Amunet is an Egyptian name that means, ‘the hidden one’. Just a fun tidbit for ya.

-A


	4. cliff jumping

“How is training going?” Poe asked, sitting down beside Finn with his lunch. We returned to the base for a well-deserved break. I was happy to be eating my sandwich and giving my mind a rest.

“I’m exhausted,” Finn answered honestly.

“Second,” I agreed, taking a bite of my sandwich.

“Have you guys started combat training?” Poe asked. He was pouring coffee out of a thermos and into three different cups.

“I can handle the physical shit,” I admitted. Poe gave me a cup of his coffee and I took it happily. “I’d much rather be training with a saber.”

“Second,” Finn agreed. As Poe was giving Finn coffee, I felt an energy shift in the room. It meant she was nearby. “My brain feels like it’s going to explode.”

“It’s important.” Rey appeared beside them and sat at the table. We connected eyes before looking away awkwardly. “Kylo Ren incorporates both physical and mental attacks when he’s in battle. Both of you will need to be strong if we want a chance of beating him.”

“What are you working on, Poe?” Finn asked, changing the subject. I was thankful. A distraction from training was welcome.

Poe seemed happy to hear the question. “We are still nowhere near as strong as we used to be. Our last battle left our numbers depleted. We’ve been running undercover missions, trying to recruit more rebels. We need the galaxy to know that we are still in the fight.”

“Not the missions we became accustomed to,” I teased. “No dodging blasters?”

Poe shrugged and looked away, trying to appear innocent. “Not nearly as much as I’d like.”

Rey chuckled at the interaction. I offered her some of my sandwich to her. I could tell she was hungry, but she hadn’t prepared a lunch. My sandwich had bites taken out of it, but I held it out to her anyway. Rey took it with a smile. Finn and Poe didn’t give it all that much attention. They were busy in their own conversations.

She took a bite and handed the sandwich back to me sheepishly. “Thanks, I was hungry.”

“I know,” I replied, looking down at her lips. I watched her chew and swallow. Watching her eat made me feel peaceful. I passed my cup of coffee to her, encouraging her to have some. She drank some and sighed happily.

“Any news from the spy?” Finn asked Poe.

“You’d know if we did,” Poe sighed, looking at him with a bit of defeat in his eyes. “We’ll count on you to know if it’s real or not.”

“You’ve been training well,” Rey whispered to me. I took a bite from my sandwich and handed it back to her. “I’ve been watching you.”

I knew she watched me train. I could always feel her eyes on me. “Thanks. I’ll never be as good as you, though.”

“There is nothing special about me.”

This made me laugh and then blush. I looked at her seriously. “You know that isn’t true.”

She shrugged, looking down at the sandwich in her hand. “If there _is_ something special about me, I want to know why. I still feel so confused.”

Before I could answer, Poe shot up from his seat. “I just had the greatest idea. Listen, we’ve all been working ridiculously hard, right? How about we blow off some steam?”

“Blow off some steam?” I questioned, looking at the man with a suspicious eye. To Poe, ‘blowing off steam’ meant something dangerous. “Let me guess… does it involve racing?”

“Better,” he quickly replied. The grin on his face was sinful.

“Just tell us what it is,” Finn groaned. He had come accustomed to Poe’s adrenaline boosting activities, just as I had. He hated it more than I did.

“Cliff jumping.” Poe held out his hands as if he revealed the best surprise in the galaxy. “A few of us found it the other day while patrolling. It’s totally safe.”

Finn and I looked at each other before laughing. “That was not convincing, mate,” Finn hollered.

“Come on!” Poe begged. “It will take our minds off of the huge responsibility we have to save the galaxy.”

“I’m in,” I smirked, but held up a finger of warning. “If I get there and the possibility of me dying is too high, I will leave.”

Poe looked at Finn with a big smile. Finn nodded reluctantly and Poe jumped in the air. “Rey, please say you’ll come.”

“I don’t know…” she huffed. “I should get back to training.”

“It would be a great way for us to get to know you better. It’s a bonding experience,” Poe conned, doing everything he could to get his way.

“You don’t have to jump if you don’t want to,” I reassured. “Just come for a little while.”

My intentions were selfish, of course. Knowing she was there would make me feel better. Her presence and the way it made me feel, was becoming addicting. It was like trying out a new drug. In my teenage years, I experimented like every other kid. Nothing I’ve tried made me feel like she does.

Rey agreed, thankfully. After finishing our lunch, Finn, Rey and I went to ask Leia if we could skip out on training for the rest of the day. She was not one to slack off in training. I saw that firsthand. Still, she agreed to give us the free time.

There was giddiness in the air, as I put on a pair of shorts and a tank top. I didn’t exactly have swimming clothes. We were all so busy, there was rarely time for recreation. Therefore, most of my clothes were designed for mobility and fighting.

I met Finn, Poe and Rey at the base entrance. I was the last one to arrive, of course. They already got inside the Landspeeder and were waiting for me.

“About time!” Poe yelled towards me.

“Shut up,” I yelled back. “I was only five minutes behind everyone else.”

Of course, Finn was sitting in the passenger seat. That meant I sat in the backseat with Rey. She had similar clothing on to me, except she wore a big shirt instead of a tank top. Still, seeing so much of her skin made me blush.

Thankfully, there was enough space between us with only two people in the backseat. She didn’t seem too conscious of it and I wished I were the same way. I found myself analyzing everything between us.

“Why is Kanta going to be there?” Finn asked Poe as he sped along the path. They were bickering about who Poe invited.

“What have you got against Kanta? He apologized for what he said,” Poe replied lightheartedly. He was almost laughing.

“He still called me a spy,” Finn growled, looking away. “As if I would go back to the First Order.”

“You know what that means?” Poe asked, a sneaky smile on his handsome face. “You need to jump farther than him.”

“Jump farther than him?” Finn made a face. “Why are you so desperate to see me get hurt?”

Poe stopped smiling and looked at Finn seriously. “I would never want to see you hurt, are you kidding me? I don’t want to see you in pain, ever. What I do want to see, is you putting Kanta in his place. That means you must be better than him. I mean, you already are. You just need to rub it in his face.”

Rey and I exchanged looks while their conversation continued. I wasn’t sure if there was anything going on between them. I knew they escaped the First Order together, Finn abandoning his old life and taking the jump with Poe. They were awfully close ever since then. At first, it appeared like a strong friendship. Then the lines started to blur when Finn got injured by Kylo Ren. Poe went crazy.

I snuck a look at Rey, wondering if our lines were blurred. Was it just the bond?

We arrived at the cliffside and eight people were there waiting. I knew them all so there wasn’t anything to be uncomfortable with. I could sense Rey’s uneasiness. I touched her arm before we got out of the Speeder.

“Try to relax,” I said with a small smile, trying to ignore her energy rushing through me. “They are all dying to get to know you.”

She gave me a small nod and we joined the group.

“Well, well, well…” Kanta, a tall Aruzan man. His skin was a light blue and his hair was pitch black. “The Jedi have come to play?”

“Easy, Kanta,” Poe warned. “I wouldn’t piss them off when you’re so close to a dangerous cliff.”

Kanta laughed, deep and from the belly. “You know I kid! I am surprised to see them, is all. They tend to be a bit serious.”

I introduced Rey to all the rebels. It was like introducing a celebrity. They all shook hands with her and by the end she was smiling. Finn loosened up too, even though he eyed Kanta occasionally.

“Poe, this is a lot higher up than you said,” I groaned. “This is at least fifty feet!”

“What is fifty feet to someone so beautiful and powerful?” Poe asked, placing his hand on his heart. “You are Amunet Qorbin! Daughter of the feared Raynar Qorbin! Master of weaponry and ass-kicking! Fifty feet is nothing to you, surely.”

“You are one bad sentence away from a bloody nose,” I warned.

“Don’t be frightened, Amunet!” Natil, a Barabel rebel mocked. He was from a cold-blooded reptilian race. He had yellow eyes and sharp teeth. “I thought with all your training, you’d be more ambitious!”

It bugged me but I knew I’d never get an apology from a Barabel. Instead I laughed to shake my irritation away. “You all got a lot to say but I don’t see you jumping!”

“I’ll go!” Poe seemed almost giddy. He took his shirt off and unbuckled his pants. Everyone started whistling and hooting. I crossed my arms over my chest and watched as he undressed. I couldn’t deny how handsome he was. He was a man with very few flaws, apart from his obvious personality issues. I couldn't help but notice Finn watched him closely.

When he only had his shorts on, he walked to the edge of the cliff with confidence. Everyone was cheering him on, myself included. I felt a hand on my arm, and I jumped. It was Rey. She was next to me before I could feel her approach. She was anxious with Poe jumping.

“It’s okay,” I reassured. I looked towards Poe to escape her eyes. My throat felt very dry suddenly. Her hand was still gripping my arm. I loved how it felt. “The water is calm.”

When Poe jumped, everyone watched his body get smaller and approach the water. He landed in the blue water without much of a splash. When he swam to the surface, they heard him scream with excitement. After the first jump, it didn’t take long for everyone to start jumping.

“Want to jump?” I asked Rey, smirking.

She examined my face and then couldn’t help but mirror my lips. “Together?”

I nodded and tried to downplay how happy the idea made me. I walked towards the cliff. “Make way, make way! Ladies coming through!”

They all mockingly bowed and let us walk through.

“Be careful, Rey!” Finn called from the side.

I held out my hand to her. She looked at me briefly before grabbing my hand with hers. She inhaled sharply, confirming she felt the drug just like I did. I squeezed her hand and we took off running towards the cliff side. We screamed in the air, feeling gravity dragging us down to the water.

Once submerged, I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. It was so fast I thought I’d die. I was still holding Rey’s hand. When we emerged from the water, all that was heard was our loud breathing and cheers from the top of the cliff.

We looked at each other and started laughing. I knew this rush was the reason Poe chased dangerous situations. It was elevating. I felt like I could move planets.

We swam to the shore and once we stood on the sand, she pulled me into a hug. Water was falling down my body and her warmth filled me to the brim. I wrapped my arms around her, making me realize I was a taller than her. Her chin reached my shoulder, so her face was close to my neck.

“My body is buzzing right now,” she laughed. I felt her breath on my skin, and it made me shiver. “It’s how I felt when I fought Kylo Ren.”

“Adrenaline,” I added. I couldn’t imagine Rey fighting him. Next to her, he must have looked like a giant.

She finally pulled away from the hug. I felt colder instantly. “Thanks for jumping with me.”

I smiled at her and whatever I wanted to say never came out of my mouth. Instead, our interaction was interrupted by Finn jumping. He screamed the loudest and when he landed successfully, Poe’s voice was heard over them all.

We stood, waiting for Finn. We’d climb back up the cliff together. As we watched him swim, she looked over at me. “I have a present for you.”

I was surprised and she could see it on my face.

“Nothing crazy, but can I meet you after to give it to you?”

My face was hot. “Sure.”

-

Oh my god I am thriving right now. I would scoop Rey in my arms and never let that bitch go. I thought it would be nice to have something lighthearted because after this and the next chapter, shit gets real. Whoever is reading this, thank you for indulging me :) I'm having a lot of fun writing this.


	5. jedi code

Rey told me to meet her when the sun was setting. She would be waiting for me above the cave entrance. The last time we both stood above the base was when I caught her talking to Kylo Ren. I could still imagine how he towered over her.

I couldn’t stop pacing near my bunk. Time was moving slowly and I was anxious to see her.

I went to the nearest bathroom to splash cold water on my face. The shower was busy with rebels, showering and getting ready for sleep. I looked at myself in the mirror and attempted to fix my curls. They were always out of control. I stared at my face. Everything about me was all edges and thorns. With all the sleep I’ve been losing, I barely looked alive. Either that, or I looked like I was addicted to death sticks.

Instead of trying to make my curls presentable, I tied them in a bun. After that I happily left my reflection. Instead of pacing near my bed, I put my green jacket on. I would be early meeting her, but the base was beginning to make me feel claustrophobic.

I needed to know what she intended to give me. My mind was exploring ridiculous scenarios. Most of them consisted of Rey showing me all types of affection. If I let my mind run wild any longer, I’d be expecting her to confess her undying love.

When I approached our meeting spot, I could see her sitting down and facing the setting sun. Her legs were crossed, both hands rested on her knees and palms faced the sky.

Was she meditating? Perhaps coming early was a bad idea. I didn’t want to disturb her.

“Moon,” Rey whispered.

My stomach fluttered when I heard her say my nickname. She never called me that before. Only Finn. “I can come back in a bit.”

“No, it’s okay,” she reassured. She didn’t move or turn around to look at me. “Your presence is soothing.”

One of my curls fell from the bun. I tucked it behind my ear to hide my smile. I was glad she couldn’t see me grinning like an idiot. It's as if I've never received a compliment before. I walked over to her and circled to see her face. There was a book in her lap. It had a brown leather cover that looked old. She opened her eyes, looked at me and then looked at the ground in front of her. She rose an eyebrow and waited for me to catch the hint.

I sat down and copied her posture. “I was talking to my old master," she informed me.

My eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Luke?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “He was able to achieve immortality through the Force. Leia taught me how to communicate with him. You’ll learn, as well.”

“When?” I asked. Nothing would beat having a private conversation with Luke Skywalker. The man was a legend.

The corner of her lip pulled into a sly smile. “In good time. Continue opening yourself up to the Force. When you open your mind, it gives them the ability to communicate with you. Before that, however, you have to learn about them.”

She took the book off her lap and handed it to me. It didn’t look as old as some of the books I’ve seen Rey reading, but it was old, nonetheless.

“Luke Skywalker began writing this book when he was a young man. It’s the story of his family and those they crossed paths with. It’s the _true_ story and I won’t lie, it's brutal at times. Still, it’s important to know if we are to save Ben.”

The handwriting inside was neat and well-preserved. I flipped through the pages and imagined Luke sitting at a desk writing it all.

“Finn will read it after you, of course. After you finish that, you’ll read the ‘Chronicles of Brus-bu’. It’s all about kyber crystals. We’ll be choosing our own soon.”

I could feel my eyes widen. “Really?”

“Yes,” she confirmed. “You’ve made amazing progress. I’ve been waiting to pick mine out until Finn and you are ready. I thought... it'd be a great bonding moment for all of us. Don't get me wrong, I’m happy using Luke’s saber. I can sense it needs to rest, though. It's been fighting for a long time.”

“Where will we get them?” I asked. I imagined myself touching the sacred crystal. My palms burned with anticipation.

She leaned closer to me and tapped Luke’s book with her finger. “All that information is in this book. Luke tracked down many areas where kyber crystals are found. We only need to follow his directions.”

I gripped the book with excitement. “Holy shit, this is incredible,” I said breathlessly. I couldn’t believe I was being a part of the story. My father worshiped Luke Skywalker in their youth. The thought left me in pain. I could only imagine the pride he would feel if he knew his daughter was following in a Jedi's footsteps.

“I think both of you are ready,” Rey noted. “It couldn’t come soon enough. Everyday Ben comes one step closer to finding us. We can’t hide forever. I’d rather you have your weapon when that day comes.”

“Do you have any sort of plan?” I asked. I hated that so much seemed to rest on her. "If he finds us?"

She laughed, exhaustion peeking out of her mouth. “Not at all. I’m making this up as I go along.”

I laughed too and held out my hand to her. “So we are faking it until we make it work?”

She held my hand in hers, softer than I was expecting. I felt something different when we touched this time. It wasn’t worse. It just felt foreign, like it wasn’t actually my feeling.

_She looks like a doll._

The thought entered my mind, but it wasn’t my thought. Nerves stung my cheeks like needles poking a pin cushion. Did I just enter Rey’s mind? Does she know I did? She released my hand. She was breathing heavily, her chest heaving in and out. She got to her feet quickly.

“I should get some sleep. We have training tomorrow. Goodnight,” she mumbled, not looking at my eyes. She sprinted away and left me sitting with my mouth hanging open.

Does she really think I look like a doll? Was it a compliment? Whatever the intention of such a thought was, it left my cheeks burning.

-

I finished the book before the sun was rising. The last page had a picture stuck to it.

It was a picture of Luke, Leia and Han Solo in their youth. The picture was crinkled and worn like it lived in someone's pocket for decades. The picture was taken after they destroyed the death star. You could almost feel the pride they felt through time itself. It swelled up in my chest. They all stood hugging each other. There was determination in their eyes and though I hadn't slept all night, I didn’t feel the slightest bit tired. I felt frustrated and infuriated at the same time.

I had been in the rebellion fight all my life. In my younger years, I rebelled and walked away, though it broke my fathers heart. After he died, I knew I couldn't keep my eyes glued to the ground anymore. I joined the fight again, not only for my father, but so I could be a part of something bigger than myself. When I looked at this picture, it was like looking into my own future. Instead of Luke, Han and Leia, the picture would be Poe, Finn, Rey and me.

However, there was something else I failed to consider when I accepted Leia's training. It was like I stepped into a world without fully knowing what it was. I was training to be a part or an order, a religion. It had rules that needed to be followed. It wasn’t just learning a bunch of cool moves. It was a life dedication. In the midst of this ancient order, atrocious happened to one family. A family that was famous throughout the galaxy.

I looked at the picture again. In many ways, the Jedi order is what divided this family, from the first breath Anakin Skywalker took to Luke Skywalker's last. Was this doubt a pull to something evil? Was paranoia the start of darkness growing inside? I knew I needed another person's opinion.

I got out of bed and ran out of the women’s quarters. I still had my black nightgown on. I didn’t care. I held Luke’s book in my hand so tightly I thought I’d bend it in half.

I barged into the men’s quarters. They were divided into many rooms, full of bunk beds and bathrooms. It mirrored the women's quarters so it wasn’t that hard to find him. Almost everyone was still sleeping. I shook Finn awake. He jumped up and examined me with wide eyes. Surely his mind went to attack mode.

“We are not under attack but you need to follow me!” I hissed, ripping the covers off him. He had no shirt on, but I wouldn’t let him get dressed.

“What is going on? Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” he yelled as we ran through the base. We got stares from rebels watching the main screens, but I didn't care. Finn continued to yell at me the entire way outside.

When we finally got far enough away, I showed him the book.

“What’s this?”

I placed the book in his hand abruptly. Finn almost dropped it. “That, right there, is a book written by Luke Skywalker. It’s the complete history of his family, right down to before he died. I have never read a more heart wrenching story in my life. I’m furious.”

Finn gasped as he opened it. “Where the fuck did you get this?”

“Rey gave it to me. She wanted me to read it, and then you. She said if we are to communicate with them, we need to know them. I’ll tell you the rumors don’t do his family justice. The shit they went through is unreal.”

“What do you mean?” Finn asked, not taking his eyes off the book. “How bad could it be?”

“Did you know Luke’s father was created by the Force?”

Finn looked at her with disbelief. “That’s not possible.”

“Yes, it is possible. It happened.” I was waving my hands around like a lunatic. To a stranger, it probably looked like I lost my mind. “No wonder Ben Solo has such a god complex! His grandfather was literally created by an invisible Force. This is fucking bigger than us, Finn. This is unreal.”

“Ren probably thinks he’s from a superior race or something.” Finn was flipping through the book until he saw the photo at the end. He just stared at it, touching it gently.

“Not only that but there is a reason Luke didn’t have children. Jedi can’t have attachments. Its why Luke’s father kept his love a secret. Finn, that would mean _we_ have to give up love and attachment to become Jedi.” I couldn’t help but think of Rey. If this is our goal, I could never love her. Though it seemed out of my control, I’d have to pretend the feeling wasn’t there.

Finn made a face. He seemed to get lost in the picture. “That can’t be true.”

“It’s true Finn, it’s all right there! Luke talks about it all.” I hoped his mind would go to Poe. If there was blurred lines now, he'd have to draw new ones between them.

“I want to read this right now.”

“Yes, I agree. Let’s go above the cave. I’ll watch the sunrise and you can read. I need you to know what I know.”

“Can I go put on a shirt first?” he asked.

“Please, Finn. This is serious,” I scoffed before running towards the path above the cave. Finn followed with a sigh and when we reached the top, we sat beside each other.

I kept peeking at him as his eyes danced across the pages. Every so often he would stop reading, look at the sun rising and then look back to the book. “Qui-Gon?” Finn asked, not looking up from the book.

“Yes, I’m glad you got to him. I found him interesting. He was never on the Jedi council. He should have been. You find out later that he is the first to achieve immortality through the Force in hundreds of years. So, it’s not like he wasn’t skilled enough.”

“I’m sensing he didn’t agree with them.”

“Yeah, and why wouldn’t he? Can you see how political the Jedi became? They weren’t supposed to take sides during war, but they did.”

“I’ve never even heard of him before. Of course, everyone knew Darth Vader. No one knew who almost trained him.”

I pulled my knees to my chest, the orange sun peeking on the horizon. It turned the sky yellow and purple. “I wonder if things would have happened differently.”

“This is incredible, Moon. This book… it explains a lot.”

“I feel conflicted.”

Finn looked at me. “What do you mean?”

“It doesn’t seem like either side has the right idea.”

Finn shrugged. “I still think the Jedi are the good guys.”

“They definitely try to do the right thing. Still, I think Qui-Gon had it right…” I whispered. “It’s about the people. I mean, that’s why we’re a part of the rebellion. To help people. I think sometimes rules and order can distract from that.”

“Insightful,” Finn gave a nod. “Regardless, this is an incredible read. Thanks for finishing it so quickly. I’m happy to get into it.”

The morning call interrupted them. It was basically an alarm clock for the entire base. It’s when night and day shifts switched. It meant our training was starting in an hour. The entire walk back to our quarters, Finn was reading. I was glad to see the sparkle in his eye. To him, Jedi stories were like candy to a little kid.

I felt awake until the middle of the day. We were mastering hibernation revitalization. It was a way you quicken the healing process in the body through meditation. It was taxing and made me want to take a nap.

Before lunch, the spy from the First Order made contact. Leia ordered Poe and Finn to lead a mission to investigate the spy’s message. Rey and I insisted on going with them but Leia ordered us to continue training. It was frustrating. I was ready to see action and put my new abilities to the test.

"I don't understand why Finn is able to go but I have to stay back here!" I argued. Rey's eyes bounced between me and Leia as we argued. Finn didn't dare speak. "I'm progressing just as much as he is! Rey and I could help them!"

"I can't afford for you all to miss training. Don't be so selfish, young one, your time will come." Leia took a step closer so she was inches from my face. I felt her probe my mind. It infuriated me. I wasn't used to being overlooked. "Be careful of your feelings, Amunet. I sense a fear in you that was not there before. It's giving birth to doubt. Are you questioning my teaching?"

I felt a lot of anger in my chest and a scream itching at my throat. "I am not afraid, I am impatient."

Leia narrowed her eyes. " _That_ is why you need more training. Fear and anger is what led my son to the dark side. Don't let it lead you to the same destination."

I knew if I said another word, I would only be damning myself. I bit my lip to stop the anger from unleashing. Rey stood beside us silently.

"Both of you eat your lunch and get back to your training," Leia said before resting her gaze on me once more. "That's an order."

I watched as Finn and Leia drove off in the Landspeeder. When they were far enough away, I unleashed my anger. I screamed and felt the Force surge through my body. Rey watched me but didn't try to stop me. I lifted the three boulders in the middle of the field. It felt good to throw them as far away from me as I could. I even knocked down a couple of trees in the process. When my anger left my body, I could barely breathe. I felt power energizing me. It reminded me of when Rey and I jumped from the cliff.

"That is the dark side, you feel."

I looked over at Rey, who had her eyes towards the thrown boulders. I felt shame wash over me.

"When you give into anger, it taps into it." As she spoke, I sensed her own shame. Perhaps she knew the feeling?

She approached me and the closer she got, the calmer I felt. She put her hand on my shoulder and it released even more tension.

"Does this have anything to do with what you read last night?" she asked plainly.

I couldn't lie to her. "Yes... I think so."

"Let's eat. I'm starving," she offered. "Then we can talk about it."

We had a service droid bring out lunch. It was more or less the same. Sandwiches. Thankfully, a recent mission replenished our fruit supply. We had meiloorun's for dessert. A horned melon that tasted sweet on the inside. We sat where the boulders once did, before I threw them in anger.

"So, tell me what you are feeling," Rey asked as she took a bite from her sandwich. "About the book, first."

“It’s the craziest story I have ever read. I even got teary-eyed. I mean, a lot of it was tragic.”

“Yes, that is true.” Rey sighed. “Still, I haven't sensed this anger in you before. What about the story bothered you so?”

She eyed me, waiting to analyze my reaction. I swallowed the food in my mouth. “Most of the time it was clear who the villain was. Still… there were times it was difficult to see.”

I watched her look in the direction I threw the boulders. "I see... so you felt that the Jedi were also at fault?"

"It's hard to say," I answered. I thought about the picture in Luke's book. "I can see where they tried. They succeeded in many areas. Still... some of their views led to their fall. It seems like Luke was giving it another chance. Surely with Darth Sidious dead, the order could thrive. Still, he failed."

"I understand why you think that way," she began. “There are things in the Jedi code that I believe in. I believe in being selfless and giving yourself to others in need. I believe the dark side is a path that leads only to pain and destruction. I'll spend my life trying to destroy it. The feelings around the dark side, however, are forbidden instead of worked through.”

I didn’t want her to stop talking so I didn’t reply. I was hungry to understand her true feelings.

“I think if fear were addressed, instead of forbidden… it would have stopped Anakin from turning to the dark side. If someone paid attention to Ben Solo’s fear, instead of forbidding his feelings…”

“He might still be on our side,” I finished for her. What was the fear within me? I would meditate later and try to focus on it.

Rey connected eyes with me and pulled me from my thoughts. They were warm, the rich chestnut color seemed to melt and stir. “Is there… anything else in the Jedi code you don’t agree with?”

I knew what she wanted me to say. “I think love is the greatest freedom in the universe. To forbid such a thing... is unjust in my eyes.”

“Perhaps that is what is making you angry,” she confessed. She slid closer to me, so our shoulders were touching. “Having your freedom taken away.”

The wind blew her scent on me. I closed my eyes and did my best to memorize it. When I opened them, I saw that her face was inches from mine. A part of me thought that if I moved, it would scare her away.

“Moon,” she whispered. I felt her breath hit my lips.

I gripped her upper arms with my hands and looked down at her lips. “It’s okay…”

It was like kissing for the first time. She hesitated against my lips, so I slid my hands from her arms to her neck. She almost melted into my touch. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so happy.

Oddly enough, I thought about Ben Solo. I remembered seeing their intimacy and how he moved around her. I parted her lips and slid my tongue passed them. She leaned into me a bit harder. What connection did Ben feel for Rey? Did she drive him as mad as she was driving me? When his hands shook, was it because he wanted to touch her as much as I did?

A presence stopped us. I opened my eyes and pulled away from her. “Do you feel that?” I whispered.

She nodded, slid away from me and almost smiled. “A familiar presence.”

I was confused but she looked towards the boulders. I followed her gaze.

Ben Solo formed in front of us.

-

You don’t know how giddy I was when they kissed. I was high when I wrote this (don't judge me), and it has been a great experience. It’s probably a mess, but I’m high so… you can’t expect all that much. I’m sure I’ll come back and fix it all up later. Also I promise Ben will have more appearance, especially in the next few chapters.

This story is making me happy like wtf, I didn't think things could do that for me anymore! HA! Whoever is reading, thanks for joining this bumpy, horny, bisexual ride. We should be friends.

Also, a part of me wants to post a picture of what Amunet looks in my mind. Another part, knows that you probably already have a certain look in your mind. I don't want to ruin that. I want her to look like whatever you want her to look like. As long as you know she is Hispanic, that's the only thing I want (because I am selfish, boo we have been over this) Idk, maybe I will later on.


	6. the hidden one

“Surely your mother taught you better than this,” Rey hissed. There was anger in her eyes when looking at the tall man.

He had his mask on. It made it impossible to see his expression. Ben Solo quickly faded from my mind and was replaced with the monster, Kylo Ren. His hands were held behind his back, his black robe flowing off his shoulders.

“What do you want?” she challenged.

“How interesting,” he commented to himself, almost mockingly. He looked at Rey briefly before looking over at me.

“Go away,” Rey ordered. “There is nothing we need to discuss.”

“I will happily go,” he rebutted. “You should know, however, that I was not the one who connected our minds.”

Before Rey could object, he faded away. It happened as quickly as he came. “I didn’t summon him,” Rey said with disgust.

There was no way for _me_ to summon him. I wasn’t skilled enough to do that. Not only that, I didn’t have that connection to him. Still, I was thinking about him before he appeared. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

It wasn’t something I wanted to dive into. I’m sure I’d overanalyze the entire situation later. There was much to meditate on. Still, I was still drunk on her kiss and not even Ben Solo could sober me up.

“I couldn’t think of anything else…” she whispered. I slid closer to her and kissed her cheek. She looked up in my eyes and I got lost. I felt her lips against mine again and had no control over it. She pulled away with a chuckle. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” I quickly said. “Don’t say that. Say you meant it.”

Rey placed a hand on my cheek, her fingers sliding into my curls. “I do mean it,” she said against my lips. “I do.”

I’ve kissed before. I’ve even loved before. It never felt like this. I felt addicted to her lips and her eyes and her skin. It was like she ate my soul and gave me a new one. A soul that finds pleasure in the simplest of touches. I couldn’t remember ever wanted someone so badly.

“They’re coming back,” she breathed, pulling away from the kiss.

Would we have to keep it a secret too? I thought of Luke’s father and mother. Anakin and Padme hid their love. The end result was disastrous.

I inhaled, memorizing her smell once more and stood. I needed to move the boulders back in place before they returned. As I walked away from her and towards the middle of the field, I couldn’t help but touch my lips. They were burning.

-

Rey and I stood, watching the Millennium Falcon burn. Rebels rushed with water hoses as Poe yelled at them all. “The whole thing is on fire!” Poe hollered while walking towards us. “All of it, it’s all on fire.”

“Hey, Poe! Where is the spy?” I asked, holding my hands out in front of me.

“Why is the Falcon on fire?” Rey chimed in, looking at the freighter with a horrified expression. She had a deep sentiment for it and hated when it was damaged.

“Yeah, it’s almost like we really could have used your help out there.” Poe put his hands on his hips as he spoke, laughing with sarcasm.

“How’d it go?” Rey asked, ignoring Poe’s attitude.

“Really bad, actually. Really bad. I don’t know if you can tell from the fire,” Poe responded venomously. If there was anything Poe hated, it was coming up short. He was far too egotistical to allow failure.

Rey smiled. “You know what you are?”

“What?”

“You’re difficult. You are a difficult man.” Rey started walking away from him.

“Come on, don’t be a fucking asshole, Poe. You know we wanted to be out there with you,” I shouted at him.

“Rey! Moon!”

We turned to see Finn running towards us. Rey ignored Poe and went to talk to him. They hugged and I hit Poe’s shoulder.

“What did you do that for?” he yelled, holding his shoulder as if he were in pain.

“We are all in this together. Be thankful you made it back in one piece and didn’t lose anyone.”

“You light skipped?” Rey fumed, walking back from her conversation with Finn.

“Yeah well it got us back here, didn’t it?”

“Poe, the compressor’s down!” she fought back, throwing her hands in the air with frustration.

“Oh, I know, I was there,” he spat back.

“You can’t light skip the Falcon!”

“Alright, guys, come on.” Finn was trying to get between them but was unsuccessful.

“Actually, it turns out you can,” Poe answered Rey.

“Enough!” I yelled. All three looked at me. “Poe, just tell us what happened.”

He turned and started walking away. “Bad news, that’s what happened.”

We all followed him. “No spy?”

“No,” he answered. “Spy.”

Rey looked at me desperately. She was losing her patience. I grabbed Poe by the back of his shirt and yanked him towards us. Instead of almost falling backwards, he spun around and looked at us. “Did we make contact with a spy or not?” I asked.

“There is a mole in the First Order,” Finn answered for Poe, who looked like he was going to explode any minute. “The First Order found us before we could save the spy. He gave us a message to relay to the Rebellion.”

“We need to show caution, though. Any information could be a trap,” Poe huffed. That’s why he was angry. He failed his mission. He was supposed to bring the spy back to their base. Instead the spy ended up dead and they barely made it back alive.

“You blew both sub-alternators?” Rey challenged Poe as she looked back to the Falcon.

“Well, you know what?” Poe shouted, throwing his hands in the air with frustration. “Maybe you two should have been out there with us.”

“You know we want to be out there with you, asshole!” I yelled, feeling the need to defend ourselves. “I tried to come but we had orders to stay here and train. Remember orders? You used to follow them, I’m sure you are still familiar with the term.”

“Yeah well you guys are training and for what?” Poe looked at both us with frustration and anger. “You are our best fighters. We need you. Out there, not here.”

With that he stormed off, yelling and kicking anything in his path.

“Take it up with the boss, then you jerk!” I shouted. He kept walking away. Rey and I looked at Finn and he shrugged.

“It’s kind of true. Training is important, but we are needed in the fight. By taking all of us out to train, Poe is losing his teammates.”

“I will talk to Leia,” Rey posed. She looked at the Falcon longingly. “Perhaps it’s time to speed things up.”

-

Though I hadn’t slept in twenty-four hours, I found it difficult to sleep that night. There was a lot on my mind. Where was I supposed to start? There wasn’t enough time in the world to think through everything I was feeling.

I knew at that very moment; Rey was talking to Leia about our training. I wished I could be a fly on the wall. It was best for Rey to do it alone, though. Leia would trust her input more than Finn and me.

I decided to meditate. The best place for meditating was outdoors so I crept out of the base. I didn’t follow an officially cut path. Instead, I let my intuition guide me. I didn’t care if the woods hid beasts at night. I needed to be alone.

I looked up to the night sky as I walked and was thankful for two full moons. They were bright enough to lead my way. My feet led me to a small waterfall that fell into a river. It felt like the right place so I decided to sit by the water. The sound of the waterfall would drown out all others. It would help me focus.

When I sat, I could feel the mist from the waterfall hit my face lightly. It was refreshing. I crossed my legs and held my palms up to the sky. I was excited to disconnect for a while and just exist. The only thing I wanted to think about was breathing.

As I soon as I felt myself leave my body, I began to hear mumbling. It wasn’t coming from my surroundings. The mumbling was inside my head. I focused and took a deep breath. Was the Force going to show me something?

“ _I don’t think Amunet and Finn are ready for that_.”

It was Leia! I was hearing her voice in my mind. “They have to be, Master. You have helped them do things that took men and women years to do. I know it’s earlier than expected but after what happened with the spy…” I heard Rey speak. There was desperation in her voice.

“All the spy told us was that Kylo Ren was after something other than us. He didn’t even tell us what my son was after. Poe was supposed to bring the spy to us. He failed. There was nothing you could have done.”

“You don’t know that! Master, I’ve seen what Amunet can do. She’s strong.” Rey seemed to catch herself. “Finn is too. They can do it.”

There was silence between them. I wondered if they knew I was listening. _I_ didn’t even know how I was listening. I felt anxious suddenly. I imagined I was inside Rey’s mind and was feeling her emotions. “Be careful, Rey.”

She was silent both verbally and mentally.

“Amunet has the same spirit my son has. Her anger makes her dangerous.”

“She recognizes her weaknesses, Master. She stronger than them,” Rey insisted. I felt my chest grow warm. She was defending me.

“I sense a strong attachment. It goes beyond what your bond supplies,” Leia responded calmly. “There is a reason Jedi avoid… attachments. To do what they do, there can be nothing in the way of their duty.”

“What do you mean?”

“Though I am not as strong with the Force as my brother once was, I can still see that something is happening between you and Amunet,” she confessed. I could hear a sigh come from my master’s mouth.

“There is nothing happening between us,” Rey lied. “We have a bond in the Force, and she is my friend. That’s it.”

“Your feelings betray you, young one. I remember what you feel all too well. It’s one of the reasons I could never finish training with my brother. Not only was there the Resistance to lead, but I was in love. I knew what I’d have to give up if I wanted to become a Jedi. You should too.”

“I don’t feel that way for her, Master. We are just trying to understand out bond.”

I felt hurt in my heart. I couldn’t tell if she was lying or really felt that way. It made me feel stupid. I pushed their conversation away. It made me angry and I wish I never heard it. I wanted Rey to stand up for what she knew was right. The rules needed to change. Why couldn’t she say that?

“Good, we can finally be alone,” a familiar voice called. My eyes shot open to see Ben Solo sitting across from me. I was so preoccupied with Rey; I didn’t even feel his presence. He didn’t have his helmet on, and his hair was damp like he washed it recently.

I didn’t want to show fear, but my heart was beating out of my chest. I was already angry from the conversation I just heard. Seeing his face made me want to fight.

“ _Hidden one_ ,” he breathed. His eyes were almost red with evil.

“How?” The thought escaped my mouth. There wasn’t a special connection to between us. How are we able to see each other?

“The Force has brought me to you, once again. I’m thankful.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. I felt like I knew this man. I read his story, studied his habits. I was determined to hide my fear of him.

“Certainly, you must feel how you have piqued my interest. I see something inside you that is not in the scavenger.”

“You know her name.” I felt anger growing inside me. It was like a kettle over a fire. It began to boil inside me. Just his presence brought strong emotions.

“There it is,” he chuckled. His eyes were practically sparkling with excitement. “Does my face make you that angry? Or do you not like when I speak about _her_? That was an interesting conversation you were eavesdropping on.”

“You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”

“Oh, but I do and thanks to you, I now have a spy to interrogate.” He leaned closer. “How do you like training here? I’m sure you are progressing quite nicely under my mother’s tutelage.”

I swallowed hard. It hurt to know the fate of the spy. “She is a good teacher. Shame you can’t experience it for yourself.”

“There is nothing she can teach me that I don’t already know. She is still stuck in the past. I, however, could teach you a few new things.” His damp, black hair fell into his eyes a bit. Even with all the hate for him inside me, I couldn’t deny he was handsome in appearance. I saw Leia and Han inside him.

“Is that what you think?” I stood from where I sat. “I don’t find your offer tempting. Seeing as how you are the reason many of my friends are dead, I don’t particularly like you. You’re the cause of countless suffering in the galaxy. The Jedi have their flaws, but they pale in comparison to the Sith.”

“The Jedi are just as evil; don’t you see that?” he urged, his hand balling into a fist. He stood, mirroring my movements. “They just pretend that they do it to help others. They are addicted to power in every way the Sith are. The hypocrisy makes me sick!”

I started walking away, thinking it would end the vision. Instead, he followed me. I reached a nearby needle blossom tree when I felt something grab me. Ben used the Force to trap me. I pushed back against him, but I wasn’t strong enough to break his hold.

“Don’t you realize that you will never reach your greatest potential here,” he echoed. How was he doing this? He turned me around and he took steps towards me. His hand was extended towards me, his grip unwavering and eyes glowing red. “You are swimming in a puddle, thinking it’s the ocean.”

I watched as he looked down at my lips and then back to my eyes. A strange feeling washed over me.

“I can show you.”

I felt trapped by his red eyes. I could feel every atrocity and ounce of evil dwelling inside them. How can a human _feel_ so strongly? It was like holding water in a bucket full of holes. I could sense so much going on inside him, I couldn’t believe he was able to keep it all in. Was this because of his grandfather? Something created by the Force surely was almost otherworldly.

Suddenly, he looked at something behind my body. His excitement only grew. “Is that a needle blossom?”

I was confused by his attention to the red flowers. They looked beautiful at first glance, but they were covered with very thin thorns.

“Those are found on the planet Kashyyyk, aren’t they?” As he asked the question, he closed the space in between us.

My heart seemed to stop. He knew.

“You’ve been a great help to me,” he murmured, his eyes roaming my face. He was too close for comfort and I was still unable to break free of his grip. I needed to warn them before it was too late. “I’ll be sure to thank you accordingly.”

With that, he released me. I took off running as fast as I could, letting the image of him disappear. I couldn’t breath and fell twice, but I made it back to the base as quickly as I could. I ran in screaming.

“They’re coming! The First Order! They know we are here!”

-

I’m sure you can all see where I’m going with this. Eventually, daddy needed to enter the scene. Also, yes, I know that Rey and Ben were able to see each other through galaxies because they are a dyad. Amunet isn’t a part of that dyad but let’s just not investigate this too much. Okay? Let’s say the Force is doing it for a reason.

Yes, Kashyyyk is Chewbacca's home world. Let's also not investigate this too much<3

You know what else I’m gunna up a little bit? Ben’s power in the dark side. I want to see just how amplified the dark side’s power is, but I didn’t get much of that in the movies. I am fine with him being pulled to the light, but it’s not as strong as his pull to the dark. I want Rey to give that pull to the light more strength. After the Last Jedi, Ben’s powers must have soared. Rey had shut him out, closing his pull to the light. So naturally, his dark powers grew. He began following in Darth Vaders footsteps for the first time and with them evil red eyes? Yeahhhh give me THAT shit. I’m gunna give you THAT shit.

Thanks for joining a story written while on drugs.


	7. evacuation

After so much time without a weapon, it felt incredible to have a DL-18 blaster pistol in my hand. I found myself so lost in the world of the Jedi, that I forgot what it felt like to be a rebel. Remembering who I was, gave me confidence in my own strength.

All my clothing was packed and my personal belongings inside a transport. I wore clothes that wouldn’t hinder my flexibility. I wore a simple pair of brown utility trousers, with pockets on either side that I hid pocketknives in. My shirt was light tan, long-sleeved and tucked into my pants. Over that, I wore my favorite jacket. It was a simple dark brown field jacket. I loved it so much because it had hidden pockets inside that allowed me to secretly carry electric tasers.

The last part of my evacuation outfit was a gift from my father. He bought it while on a mission before his death. It was a metal hairpin that was beautifully forged, with the metal twisted into an elaborate design. The pin that went through it, however, had a secret sharp dagger inside of it. It was too small to hold all my hair, but just big enough to pin the curls away from my face.

As I pinned my hair, I couldn’t help but remember when he gave it to me. He was so proud of it.

‘ _Listen, Moon, a blaster can fail on you. A rifle and canon can malfunction. A needle to the throat? Nothing can fail but your inability to get to your opponent. So, you better make sure you use that surprise to your advantage, kiddo_.’

I could almost hear him say it, like he was right beside me. I closed my eyes and pushed the memory away. I needed to stay focused because whether I liked it or not, the First Order was coming.

Kylo’s red eyes were haunting me, reminding me that he was coming. I knew if the opportunity rose, he could take me captive.

“Moon!” Finn shouted from outside my quarters, pulling me from my mind. I ran to him and gave him a quick hug. I didn’t know when I’d see him next. I looked and realized he had a pilot suit on.

“You’re finally getting in a starfighter?” I asked, playfully shoving him. Leia must have given him orders already.

A laugh escaped him, it lighthearted despite the circumstances. “Yeah, we are going to distract them for as long as we can. I just wanted to say goodbye.”

I hugged him again, as tight as I could. “May the Force be with you, Finn.”

He pulled away and seemed ecstatic to hear me say that. “May the Force be with you,” he responded, almost lovingly.

I watched him run off and made my way to the base center. The entire night, it had been full of running rebels. Leia and Poe stood near the center projector. They were giving out jobs to those who approached. Even with the large crowd, I could pinpoint exactly where Rey was.

I remembered what she said to Leia and felt a pang of distress. I didn’t want to hold anything against her, since it was a private conversation. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was telling the truth.

“Moon!” I heard Poe yell over the crowd. It made everyone look over at me. He waved me over and after rolling my eyes, I moved towards him. I didn’t want Rey looking at me because I knew she could feel my emotions. I didn’t want her to know I eavesdropped on her conversation with Leia.

As I stood beside Finn, I peeked over at her. Her eyes were on Leia attentively. She was wearing her usual outfit. The dark grey obi was worn over her light gray tabard wrap.

My eyes followed the wrap around her body. It gathered at her shoulders and crossed over her breasts in the front, with the right side crossing over the left. When my eyes returned to her face, she was already looking me. She caught me and I felt a blush slap my cheeks. I averted my gaze as if it would save me from my embarrassment.

“We don’t have enough support to hold off the First Order for long. The transports are almost ready and will be the first to head towards our destination. This isn’t a time to delay. Whatever is left behind will belong to the First Order.” Leia spoke like a leader. She had confidence in what she said.

“This is giving me déjà vu,” I whispered in Poe’s ear. “Remember that spice running operation? We had to leave in the dead of night.”

Poe narrowed his eyes at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

I chuckled. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Finn. Our secret will die with us. Possibly tonight.”

“I’m glad you have high hopes.”

“Where are we evacuating to?”

“We’re retreating to an old base, one that hasn’t been used in a long time. We figured it would be the last place they’d look. It’s called Echo Base, on the planet Hoth.”

I sighed. “Isn’t that a frigid cold planet? Like, with snow and ice?”

“Yeah,” he responded with a cheeky grin. “It should be fun.”

“Sure it will,” I groaned. I stretched my back and took a deep breath. The idea of a planet covered in snow was not my cup of tea. It would make me miss Kashyyyk even more. “What am I supposed to be doing?” I asked.

Poe cleared his throat like he was nervous suddenly. “I’ll let Leia give you the order.”

It meant I would not like my assignment. Leia dismissed everyone shortly after that, apart from Rey and me. We stood side by side, rather awkwardly. I didn’t want to touch her because then she would know, without a doubt, all my misdeeds.

“Now, Poe and Rey will be in the Falcon. We all know when my son sees that freighter, he goes crazy. It will be a great distraction. Amunet,” she began, looked at me, “you will be protecting the transports. Get them to a safe distance from the planet so they can jump to lightspeed safely. Take an X-wing Starfighter and protect those transports at all costs.”

I wanted to roll my eyes. I was ready to be in a fight. All my weapons were ready for a battle. I respected that she gave me an important job, but it wasn’t the one I wanted. I wanted to be alongside Rey, Finn and Poe.

After my last reaction to being taken out of the fight, I didn’t feel like arguing. I was afraid that if I spoke, Leia would hear my irritation.

“Moon, I have a T-65 ready for you. Come on, I’ll show you my modification.”

Poe must have sensed my anger. He grabbed my arm and took me away from the group. “I wish I was going with you guys,” I said when we were far enough away.

“I know,” he replied. We reached the T-65 X-wing Starfighter. The X-wings were familiar to me, I had piloted them since I was a kid. “I wish you were coming with us too. Rey and I don’t exactly see eye to eye.”

“Why do I feel like general’s trying to humble me by keeping me out of the fight?”

“Finn told me you freaked out when she wouldn’t let you come with us on our spy mission,” Poe teased. “I’m sure she’s teaching you a lesson. She’s really good at those.”

Poe went through the modifications he made, and I ignored him. I was too busy wallowing in my self-pity. In the middle of his instruction, the alarms went off.

“They’re quicker than we thought. I must get to the Falcon. We will hold them off as long as we can. Get out while you can,” Poe ordered as he began running away.

“Be safe, my friend!” I shouted at him.

An R-5 droid was being loaded in my Starfighter. I instructed him to start the engines and get everything ready for take-off. I ran towards the transports, which were still being loaded.

I urged them to move quicker and began picking up memory banks. I ran them onto the few transports that still had room.

Something stopped me from moving. I didn’t know how to describe the feeling that fell over me. It was like a calling. Something was pulling me, and I knew I shouldn’t trust it. I did my best to ignore the invisible force and loaded a few more memory banks.

“My son is here,” I heard a voice in my head. I looked around and saw Leia approaching.

“Then it’s important for you to get these transports in the air,” I replied.

She looked like she wanted to tell me something. I could almost see it dancing behind her expression. Instead of speaking, she gave me a reassuring nod and quickly boarded a transport.

The pull got stronger the harder I resisted it. It was time to go. Whatever was calling me, was bad news.

“Hurry! We need to go!” I urged the remaining rebels. They scrambled but listened well. As soon as their transport doors shut, a large blast blew through the cave entrance.

How could they get past the rebels that quickly? I yelled for the transports to take off and then ran towards my X-wing.

“We are under attack in the base, I repeat we are under attack in the base!” I yelled into my comlink. “Stormtroopers have reached the planet and the transports are just taking off!”

“Get those transports out of there! Without them, we have nothing!” I could hear Poe from my wrist.

“R-5, get ready for takeoff!” I screamed. I pulled a blaster from my holster just as lasers began to shoot past my head. I fired in their direction madly, all while running towards my ship.

“Quick, aim and fire at the stormtroopers!” I ordered the droid.

R-5 wasted no time aiming the X-wing blasters at the white soldiers. I felt the vibration of the gunfire before I heard it. Now that I was tuned into the Force, the fight felt different. When a stormtrooper was hit, I could almost feel it. The enemy quickly took cover from the X-wing’s attack and I used the distraction to climb into it.

Since R-5 already prepped the engine, I grabbed the controls and took off. Once outside the cave, I could see the transports ahead of me in the night sky. They were getting smaller in the sky and had no protection. Stormtroopers fired at my ship, but I was too far to take on much damage. I increased speed to reach the transports, but I realized my X-wing wasn’t moving right.

“Why am I not moving? Are my thrusters damaged?” I questioned, looking at all the stats on the screens before me. Everything seemed to be functioning. R-5 did a scan, but the droid notified me that the ship was fully operational.

“ _Surrender_ ,” I heard a voice in my mind.

I looked down to the planet and although it was close to midnight, I could see Kylo Ren standing below. His hand was extended to the X-wing. I cursed and tried to break free from his hold. No matter how much I pushed on the controls, I wasn’t moving. Before I knew it, the fighter was being pulled back towards the planet.

“Time to see how those modifications work. R-5, aim our quad canons on Kylo Ren,” I ordered. The droid did so swiftly. I pulled the trigger and watched the four torpedoes fly in his direction. I knew he would dodge it, but it would give me enough time to get away.

When I heard the explosion, my Starfighter was released. Ahead of me, I saw one of the transports getting fired at.

“Moon, we are coming to back you up,” Poe came in through the radio. “Our transports are compromised.”

“ _If you come with me, I will pull the units out,_ ” Kylo Ren said telepathically.

I pondered on his offer. I could sense the death around me, of both good and evil. I knew we were dangerously outnumbered. As I thought about it for a moment, I saw a transport explode in the sky. The wave of death rolled over me.

“Kylo Ren is at the base. I can take him out.” I didn’t exactly have a plan, but I knew I had to do something. “Charge the canons, R-5. We are going back.”

“No!” I heard Rey’s voice from the radio. It made me pause for a moment. “You are not strong enough to face him! We need to stay together. Don’t go back!”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. What was the right thing to do?

“ _You know the rebellion will never make it out of here alive_ ,” he echoed in my mind. “ _Unless you come with me_.”

Even with the space between us, I could feel Rey’s panic. I envisioned the Falcon exploding in the air, taking her life with it. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if the people I loved died because I was a coward. If there was a chance to save her, I would take it.

Kylo Ren seemed to feel my decision. He released his grip on the X-wing and I landed it back on the planet. When my feet touched the ground, he stood tall before me. He had his mask on, so there was no way to see the man beneath the monster.

I was sure to fortify the barriers in my mind as I approached him. Force shields were the first thing Leia helped us to master. I knew from stories and rumor that he enjoyed probing minds.

“If you call off your troops, I will go without a fight.” My voice sounded strong. I knew he liked that. My hand burned from its desire to grab my blaster. I briefly imagined driving the needle in my hair deep into his neck. The fantasy calmed me a bit.

Two figured walked from the base, towards Kylo Ren. They both had all black armor on, along with black masks. I could sense they were Force-sensitive, though untrained. One had a large scythe-like weapon in his hand. The other man had a canon instead of a left arm.

“If you don’t, I will never stop fighting you,” I vowed. “Even till death.”

Even behind the mask, I could feel his smirk. “Cardo, Vicrul…” he began, looking at the men beside him. “Call off the attack.”

“But Ren, we can easily end them now.” The man with an arm canon rebutted.

Kylo Ren slowly turned to the man. Without saying a word, they both nodded. I heard them calling off the attack as they walked away. There was anger in the decision, but I felt relieved.

He held his hand out to me. It was covered in a black, leather glove.

_I’m sorry, Rey._

As I took his hand, I felt pain enter the atmosphere. She knew what I had done.

I hope she can forgive me.

-

GUYSSSSSS. Okay so this chapter was a blast to write and I didn't REALLY proof-read it like I should, so forgive any errors on my part. Pretend like it's perfectly written. Also, I am STOKED about using the Knights of Ren. Let’s be honest here, they were wasted in the films. They too cool for school so you can except more from them.

I am seduced by my own original character, in her cute brown jacket and Celtic pin in her hair. Has this ever happened to anyone?

Like, she’s fictional. I created her. I would also fuck her.

Quarantine is weird, y’all.


	8. dark side

They wasted no time confiscating all my weapons. The only thing they didn’t take, was my trusty hairpin. I was thankful they thought it was purely fashion. It meant I still had a trick up my sleeve. A comforting thought as I was pushed onto Kylo Ren’s ship.

The atmosphere was completely different than the Resistance. On rebel ships, there was still a sense of humanity. When around the First Order, you almost feel like everyone is mechanical. There was no useless conversation. No one was joking or laughing or shouting. I only felt fear in all those around me.

Kylo Ren approached, the only one without fear on the ship. When he stood beside me, I could sense he was trying to probe my mind. I held my shields strong. If there was anything about my training that I was confident in, it was my Force shields. It amused him that I would withstand against the violation. I assumed he would continue trying.

We approached the Finalizer; the large battleship was incredibly intimidating. I had shot at it before, when escaping Crait. Knowing I was going inside of it, was a completely different experience. I felt claustrophobic.

After we boarded, Ren ordered a squad of stormtroopers to escort me to my cell. It was not as small as I imagined. There was a bed, a toilet, a sink and a mirror. Instead of iron bars, the doorway was barred with red lasers. I imagined if I touched them, they would shock me.

When the troopers left me, all the lights turned out. I was in complete darkness apart from the red lasers keeping me inside the cell. I sat on the bed and tried to meditate.

I wanted to reach Rey and make sure she was okay. I noticed it was harder than on Kashyyyk. It was like the dark side shrouded everything in a thick fog. I grew accustomed to being around Rey’s energy. Since we bonded, I was used to the feeling of her around me.

Without her close, it felt like being disconnected from my own body. I didn’t feel as strong.

Sleep found me after hours of trying to reach her. I hoped I would dream of her. Instead, my sleep was nothing but darkness.

I woke up to two men outside of my cell. They wore all black, with masks hiding their face. They were different from the two men who called off the attack on Kashyyyk. Though untrained as well, I could feel the Force touching them.

“Follow us,” they ordered.

I thought of resisting but knew what the outcome would be. If I was going to survive, I needed to be smart. Fighting my way out of here would only be disastrous. What I planned, called for manipulation of a man who is all too familiar with manipulation.

I followed the men out of my cell. One of the men dressed in black had a large war club with a blunt heavy end. I could only imagine what it felt like to get the full force of such a weapon. The other had a long axe in his hand. It looked like one I saw in a book once. He obviously made technical advancements to it.

The Finalizer was like any other First Order ship, metal and organized. Another word I would use to describe it as was ugly. It was too pristine and orderly. I noticed stormtroopers all looked at me as we passed. I could only imagine the rumors flying around.

I was brought to a large metal room. I could only assume it was where they trained. Along all the walls were weapons of various make and model. There were a few I couldn’t recognize. The First Order had first dibs on the best weaponry in the galaxy. I wished I could be alone with them to test all of them out.

Kylo Ren stood in the middle of the room, his helmet on and hands held behind his back. Four others stood around him. Two of the men were from the rebel planet. Cardo and Vicrul is what Ren called them. The other two, I’ve never seen before. One of them had an enormous vibrocleaver resting on his shoulder.

When I stood in front of Ren, my two escorts back away. Their master circled me, as if inspecting me.

“Allow me to introduce my men,” he began. “Those two, you’ve seen before.”

He pointed to Cardo and Vicrul, though I didn’t know which named belonged to which.

“Cardo,” he introduced, pointing a finger to the man with a canon for an arm. It was apparent the man was obsessed with weaponry. Apart from the canon arm, I spotted six more weapons on his body. The man bowed slightly. “That is Vicrul.”

The man with the scythe stood tall. He nodded his head once, but I could feel him grip his weapon tighter. He did not trust me. I noticed his coat had scales. It looked like skin from a large reptilian creature.

“Then we have the two who escorted you,” he began. He pointed to the man with an axe, first. “This is Ap’lek. His weapon is a modified Mandalorian executioner’s axe. I’m sure it looks vaguely familiar to you.”

I knew I saw one of them before. I learned about the Mandalorian’s when I was in school. How could a man get his hands on such a weapon? I could only imagine how many he killed to get it.

“The other who escorted you is Ushar.”

I looked at the man with the war club in his hand. He gripped it tightly as well. Another one who did not trust me. Like the rest of the men, he wore all black clothing. His helmet was partially crumpled, possibly from an attack.

“The remaining is Trudgen,” he pointed to the man with the vibrocleaver. He was a largest of the men and probably got that way from carrying around such a large weapon. “The other is Kuruk.”

The last man to be introduced did not have a bladed weapon. I could see a weapon in his hand that I never saw before. It was a multi-barreled rifle, though it was clearly customized to this man’s liking.

Though all these men were evil, I couldn’t help but be impressed by them. My specialty was weaponry. It was interesting to see such custom pieces.

“These are the Knights of Ren. They are the strongest fighters on the Finalizer.”

I watched Kylo Ren walk towards the six.

“Shall we see how you compare?” he asked.

I couldn’t help but laugh. He couldn’t be serious. As he walked away, the knights stepped closer to me. “Do I get a weapon?”

I’m sure he could sense my anger. It amused him. “Do you need one?”

Trudgen was the first to come after me with his vibrocleaver. He lifted it from his shoulders and its weight dropped it to the floor. I could feel the vibration.

So, he wanted to see what I was made of? I was skilled in fighting, but in order to overcome all of them I would need the Force. I took a deep breath and allowed myself to feel the energy of Kylo’s knights.

“You don’t stand a chance, little one,” Trudgen said through his mask.

That angered me. I extended my free hand and ushered him to come at me. He fell for the bait and charged towards me. I felt every step before he made it and was able to jump out of his way. It felt good to fight. The adrenaline pumped through my veins the closer Trudgen got to hitting me.

It was easy to dodge his attacks. His weapon slowed him down more than the size of his body. The vibrocleaver smashed on the ground beside me, scarring up the metal floor.

Another knight was approaching me. It was Ap’lek. He moved almost without sound. I could tell he preferred stealth. It would be harder to evade him.

I saw an opening in Trudgen. He was tired from swinging his cleaver around. I took the opportunity without delay. Using the Force, I ripped the vibrocleaver from his grip and flung it towards Ap’lek. I kicked Trudgen in his chest as hard as I could. Ap’lek caught the cleaver but dropped his axe.

I gripped it with the Force and brought it to my hand. I almost laughed. It felt good to have such a weapon in my hand. A Mandelorian execution axe. In response, Ap’lek took a smoke canister from his waist. He threw it and smoke immediately filled the room.

I watched as the men disappeared in the gray smoke. I calmed my mind, though strong emotions were rushing through me. The gas also numbed my other senses but being unable to see or smell only strengthened my resolve. I trusted the Force, so I closed my eyes.

I heard a canon and knew it was Cardo. I fell to the ground and concentrated on its vibrations. When I felt him turn his back, I stood and ran towards him. He was looking around for me, his canon arm extended and ready to fire. I used the axe in my hand to swipe his feet. He fell on the metal floor. I used my weapon to slam on his canon. It penetrated the metal with ease. Pieces of metal flew all over the room and I liked sensing the anger that erupted in the man.

I got distracted by my small victory and I felt something hard hit my back. The wind was knocked out of me and the next thing I felt was the floor. I opened my eyes out of desperation and saw Ushar’s war hammer coming towards me. I rolled out of the way and felt the hammer slam on the metal floor. There was a great deal of pain in my back, but I was still able to move. My injury infuriated me, and I felt the Force grow in my chest.

I found Ushar’s neck and squeezed it with invisible hands. I never performed such a thing with the Force before. He dropped his hammer and gripped his neck, as if he could pull away my grip. I didn’t know how the action came out of me, but it felt good to watch Ushar fight for air. My back was throbbing with pain.

A fire plasma bolt soared past my head. That would be Kuruk’s customized rifle. I released Ushar and ran towards him. With Ap’leck’s axe in my hand, I crashed into Kuruk. He danced around me, but it was useless. I slammed the axe in Kuruk’s shoulder. To my delight, it’s ultrasonic vibro-tech feature allowed it to slice through Kuruk’s armor and bone with ease. I could even hear the bone crunch beneath the axe’s weight. The man screamed in agony.

I searched for a sympathetic bone in my body but found none. It didn’t bother me that I caused such pain and that horrified me.

“Enough!” Kylo Ren yelled. The men immediately stopped moving, except from Kuruk, who fell to his knees. Ben swept the smoke away with ease and I saw the damage I had done. There was blood on the axe and my hands were burning. I dropped the weapon. “Leave us.”

Ushar and Cardo helped Kuruk to his feet. Ap’leck picked up his axe and they all left the room swiftly. I was still looking at my burning hands.

“That was impressive,” Ren commented. He was circling me again. I could hear the click of his mask unlocking. He took it off his head and held it in his hand. “I can still feel the anger inside you. That is good.”

I finally looked away from my hands. I eyed him suspiciously and put my Force shields up. I needed to tread carefully.

“How did it feel? To fight my men?”

I could still feel it inside me. It felt… good. I hadn’t fought since my training with Leia. Even fighting without the Force was exciting. With the Force, I felt even more deadly. Was this… the dark side?

“Hold onto that feeling, Amunet,” he ordered. I felt a shiver crawl up my spine. I didn’t like hearing my name come out of his mouth. He stood in front of me and we connected eyes. His expression conveyed his greediness. He liked seeing me hurt his men. “It will make you more powerful than you ever thought possible.”

That’s when I realized I _had_ truly felt it… the dark side.

In that moment, I understood what drove Kylo Ren to such absurd depths. Yes, Snoke had manipulated him and fueled Ben Solos mind with all sorts of twisted promises. The dark side, however, held something of its own merit.

It is delicious.

You feel powerful and superior. It’s as if planets would move at your command. The knowledge that you could inflict pain on anyone you deemed worthy, was mouth-watering.

After years of feeling unseen and looked over; it was euphoric to take something back. To dip my toes is such a sinful river, simply because I could.

Kylo Ren felt like a demi-god, standing tall in front of me. One more sacrifice, and he would be God himself. His bloodline was unmatched in the galaxy. An heir to the biggest story to grace this universe. Of course, he wanted to be a son of darkness. A flare for drama runs in his family.

Still, there was something else in his blood. A history of men and women becoming heroes. His family was known for their adventures and courage. They fought for what was right and stood up against injustice. That strength will always overpower the evil within. I could see ' _Kylo Ren_ ' was doomed from the start.

It made me calm, though I did feel pity for the man. When you understand his character, you can see the child within him. I knew it wasn't too late for him. The hero inside him would always reach for the surface.

The harder task was breaking his addiction to power. It's an incredibly difficult thing to do. Power is a drug. A merciless and highly intoxicating drug. Since it robs you of your moral compass, dominance gives you immense pleasure. That kind of pleasure is not easy to forget.

Even when praised for his heroism and defeats of evil, the drug will whisper to him. It will remind him what it was like to make a man tremble with fear. They warn you against the dark side for a reason. It’s something not easily given up. The further you go, the more it seeps into your bones. The more it demands of you.

Even the small taste I got, made me hungry for more. I needed to be determined if I were to turn the tides. My mind thought of Rey and her worried eyes watching me. She would help keep me grounded, remind me of what I’m fighting for.

Kylo Ren will turn from the dark side. With her strength, I’ll make sure of it.

-

I didn't really proof-read this either haha. BUT THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE OMG. It’s a lot harder to write a fight scene than I remembered. It all was happening in my head, but it’s hard to portray that. Don’t you sometimes wish you had an entire movie studio at your mercy? I’d make this shit so fast, even if it were just for me to watch. Expect more of the Knights. They’re way too cool (as are their weapons) for me to cast away.

I also don’t know if I should include anyone else’s POV? I was tempted to do Rey’s but thought it would take away too much of the mystery. Idk, we will see.

Thanks for reading this whole chapter and indulging me. It's a privilege, really, to have people reading things I wrote while high :)


	9. i can show you

**IX  
 _Yeah, I didn't feel like making a banner. Who cares amiright?_  
**

* * *

I suppose I was fortunate Ben let medics assess my back. Nothing was broken but they informed me the bruise would be extremely tender. I was allowed to take a cold shower before being escorted back to my cell.

That night while I sat in my prison cell alone, I tried to reach Rey telepathically. Even with the dark side blurring my vision, I could sense her pain. Like the night before, they shut off all the lights. Every hour a stormtrooper walked by to make sure I was still locked inside. The glow from my laser prison bars gave everything a red tint.

I thought of the vision Rey and I shared.

I thought about her voice, her eyes and her lips. I wished I kissed her before we parted. We didn’t even say goodbye to one another. What if I never saw her again?

My eyes began to sting like I was going to start crying. I pulled my knees to my chest and pressed my forehead against them. I didn’t want to cry but I couldn’t stop it. I wanted to hold her more than anything else I could think of.

I felt a different presence in the cell block. I wiped my eyes and sat up. I knew the presence, but I didn’t know what he could possibly want.

I heard his footsteps slowly echoing throughout the prison. He definitely wasn’t trying to hide his approach. I closed my eyes and listened to him get closer.

It was different from hearing the stormtroopers walk by. They were swift, like they couldn’t wait to get their rounds over with. He walked as if his feet were fighting the floor. I could almost see his hands balled up into fists beside him.

I felt his energy before I saw his face. It was different from before. In the training room, he was dark and prideful. The energy from him was quieter this time.

I stood from my bed when I saw him. Instead of Kylo Ren, I was looking into the eyes of Ben Solo. They were sadder and more self-aware. It was this man I was trying to save, while trying not to lose myself. The red reflected off his face and I couldn’t help but notice how it suited him.

“I have a question that’s been on my mind,” he finally spoke.

I studied his expression and the curves of his face. He was sleep deprived, just like I was.

“Did you see anything… when you touched her for the first time?”

I tilted my head slightly and fought a smirk off my lips. It was a peculiar question. “Who?” I teased.

“You know who I am talking about,” he glowered, a warning in his eyes.

“I had a vision.”

He came as close as he could to the red bars. “What did you see?”

“I was in a room, lit a lot like this one,” I recalled while looking around my cell. I looked back to him. “Two figures stood in front of me. They held out their hands, as if calling me to them. When I accepted their invitation, the vision ended. Rey saw the same thing.”

His eyes widened as he listened to my confession. He turned from me and took a few steps away from my cell. His energy became chaotic with frustration. It bounced off the metal walls like light on a mirror.

“What is it?” I asked.

He turned to face me. There was a sliver of horror in his expression. “I had a dream a while ago.”

 _Impossible_ …

“I saw the same vision in my sleep.”

“What does it mean?”

He approached me again, his eyes narrowed with determination. “We are destined to come together, the three of us. We need her.”

I shook my head. “She will never turn to the dark side.”

“You sure?” he questioned, jutting his chip up at me. There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice. His eyes were playing games with me and I didn’t understand the rules.

“Yes, I am.” I replied through my teeth. I felt my own hands ball into fists.

“Even though you can’t reach her, I can feel her right now. I don’t even have to try anymore.” He closed his eyes and a grin crept on his face. “She’s mad at me because I took you.”

I wanted to scream. Instead, the bars of my cell shut off. I was left in total darkness but could feel Ben walking inside. When the lasers turned back on, he was standing right in front of me. Before I could react, he pushed me against the wall with the Force. I groaned in pain; my back was still injured from my fight earlier.

“I can show you,” he breathed, almost excited. His eyes began to turn red as he held me in place. I watched the addict get his fix right before my eyes.

He closed the space between us and stood uncomfortably close to me. He closed his eyes and placed his fingers on my forehead.

I gasped as a vision overtook my sight. I was inside an unfamiliar room. My body wasn’t there but my spirit was.

How was Ben able to do this? Something like this would require an insane amount of power. It seemed I was failing to lessen his dark tendencies. If anything, he was just getting stronger.

I heard something crash behind a nearby door. I immediately thought of Rey. I could feel her presence.

Since my body wasn’t there, I was able to move through the closed door with ease. When I finally saw her, I was shocked at her state. She was throwing her belongings all over the room while screaming.

She was so furious, I could see her visibly trembling. She threw cargo boxes, wardrobes and weapons all with her mind.

 _No, Rey_ …

She stopped moving suddenly, as if she could hear my thoughts. Her shoulders were bouncing from how hard she was breathing. I watched as she finally opened her eyes.

They were glowing red.

I never thought I’d see her in such a state. The red in her eyes swirled with anger and excitement. She wanted to kill Ben so fervently, it caused the dark side to pull her.

I reached out to her with the Force. She looked in my direction. The red in her eyes deepened and I felt like crying. I never imagined her being susceptible to the dark side. She was so full of light; it was impossible in my mind.

I wanted to hold her in my arms. The feeling was so strong, it took my breath away.

I felt myself materialize in front of her. Her eyes fell on me and in that moment, the red in her eyes began to fade. Ben allowed me to appear before her. Why?

She ran towards me. She held her hand out cautiously and I could hear her heartbeat. “Is it really you?”

I reached my hand and attempted to touch her. Her skin touched mine and I felt her energy pass through me. In that moment I forgot I was in a prison cell and forgot about Ben Solo in my mind. I wanted to remember what her presence felt like. I didn’t know when I’d get it again.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into me as tightly as I could. It better than anything I’ve felt since leaving her. I felt her relax in my arms. She pulled away from the embrace to kiss me.

I could barely breathe but I didn’t care. I deepened the kiss, not knowing how long the vision would continue. She melted into me.

“I will save you,” she vowed when our lips parted. I sensed the dark side circling her, it altered her voice slightly. “I promise you.”

I shook my head. “Protect the Resistance. Remember who you are.”

She kissed me again, desperately. I felt her hands in my hair, her heartbeat against my own.

I pulled away. I could feel the vision beginning to fade. “Have faith in me, Rey. Do what is right.”

Before she could reply, the vision ended. I was jolted back into my body with such force, my legs trembled. When they began to give out, Ben lifted his fingers from my forehead and grabbed my waist. His hands seemed to burn into my body. I could feel tears falling down my face.

I watched as Ben’s red eyes turned black before me. There was an energy exchanged between us. It was the first time he entered my mind. To my surprise, a familiar hunger grew within me. It was a hunger to know and feel more.

I could see the same hunger in his eyes, surrounded by agony and confusion. He looked down to my lips.

Was I feeling attraction for this man? This was the same monster who murdered thousands. He killed his own father. Still, that did not stop the curiosity. The fire I felt inside wasn’t meant for him, but it grew as he stood in front of me.

When I bonded with Rey, it felt like my heart was as light as a feather. It was how you felt when you kissed for the first time or watched the sunset with someone you love. What was happening between Ben and I was different.

It felt wrong. It _was_ wrong and we both knew it. This wasn’t the way our story was supposed to go. Feeling his energy inside me was like being intoxicated and doing something you knew you shouldn’t. Almost sinful.

I knew I loved Rey, but regardless of what I wanted, a bond was formed with Ben. There was nothing I could do to stop it.

He finally looked away from my lips. I knew what he wanted. I knew I wasn’t powerful enough to stop him. “I needed to see your bond.”

I figured he would have been watching. Still, not a part of me felt ashamed. I _wanted_ him to see.

“Thank you,” he said breathlessly. He turned without another word and left my cell. Even though I couldn’t see him, I sensed his every step. I fell to my knees.

Now I would be able to feel his emotions without even being in the same room. Surely, he could feel the bond that formed.

It was ironic. Why would the Force give me such a strong bond to these two? What purpose could it possibly serve?

-

I wasn’t sure how long I slept. I was woken by Ap'leck and Ushar.

“Get dressed, the Supreme Leader requested your presence,” Ushar ordered.

I got from my bed and quickly dressed. It irritated me that they refused to leave my cell. “How is Kurkak?” I asked while buttoning my pants.

“Alive and healing,” Ap'leck answered.

“You are a good fighter,” Ushar commented. I was surprised to receive a compliment. “Kurkak will demand a rematch.”

I eyed them both and fought to kill my smile. “I look forward to it.”

They walked me out of the cell and to the captain’s deck. Ben stood in front of the large glass windows. He was looking at the First Order's fleet. It was massive and only growing. It was a bit disheartening for the rebel within me to see.

As Ap’leck and Ushar escorted me to Ben, I looked around the deck. Workers didn’t dare look from their work. I couldn’t help but imagine that they work in constant fear. They know at any moment they could be physically punished if their work was insufficient. I’ve only felt love and acceptance among the rebels. I couldn’t imagine it any other way. _How horrible_ , I thought. Oddly enough, it made me think of Poe. I missed him.

Even before walking onto the captain’s deck, I could feel Ben’s presence. As I got closer, the feeling intensified. I could see something irritated him. His energy sparked like it could catch on fire at any moment.

“Thank you, you two are dismissed.” Ben waved his men away. I stood beside him and locked my hands behind my back.

“I can feel your exhaustion,” I commented once we were alone. “Didn’t sleep last night?”

In retrospect, I shouldn’t poke an angry bear. I was surprised to see his energy calmed a bit after I spoke. “I was… preoccupied.”

Since he wasn’t wearing his mask, it was easy to see Ben Solo. I was thankful for it.

“We are going to Mustafar. There is an ancient artifact I must find.”

This must be what the spy was warning the Resistance about. “Artifact?”

Ben kept his eyes on the fleet that was positioned just on the other side of the glass. “What do you know of the Sith religion?”

“Nothing apart from the legends,” I answered honestly.

“I have felt something in the Force. A threat to my power.” As he said it, I watched his hands ball up into fists. As if even a whisper of something stronger than him, was offensive. “I must find it and destroy it.”

“Is it a Sith? I thought the last one was dead.”

He connected eyes with me briefly before looking back at the fleet. “I don’t know. I hope to find enlightenment on Mustafar. There is a rumor of an ancient artifact that will show me the way to Exegol.”

“Exegol?” I couldn’t help but ask. My curiosity was endless on the topic.

“It’s the hidden world of the Sith. If what I feel is true, that is where the threat will be. Nothing can stand in the way of all I’ve achieved and will achieve in the future. Before I move forward, I must ensure there is nothing plotting from shadows.”

The dark side swirled around us. It seeped out of Ben like a cup full of too much water. Even as I stood beside him, I could feel it whisper to me. After bonding with Ben, it’s proving to be harder to ignore.

I started seeing fantasies play out in my mind of me conquering the universe with Kylo Ren. I wasn’t sure if the fantasy came from me or somewhere else. What I did know, was that I felt powerful just standing next to him. Our bond was making me stronger and after feeling so weak without Rey, it felt good.

Every moment spent around him, made it harder to resist.

“The mission is in 48 hours. We will train until then.”

“Supreme Leader,” I heard a voice say. We looked to see a red-haired man approaching. It was General Hux. I knew my face showed my disgust, but I didn’t care. I hated the man. “It is my duty to inform you that we have tracked the Resistance.”

Hux smirked at me as he spoke. I couldn’t believe they found them. I put my shields up in case Ben felt like probing my mind. “Remain on course for Mustafar,” Ben replied.

General Hux looked at him with disbelief. “But sir… after we get rid of them, the entire galaxy will bow to us. We must remove the hope they inspire.”

Ben took a step towards Hux and though the red-haired man stood firmly grounded, his eyes showed fear. “The Resistance will meet its end _after_ we travel to Mustafar.”

Hux was drunk with hate. He gave a firm nod and walked away quickly. I wanted to cry with relief. Whatever was on Mustafar was giving them time. I needed to find a way to warn them before it’s too late. It would be hard to do from my prison cell.

I needed to gain Ben’s trust. If I did that, maybe he wouldn’t keep me in a cell. Then I could send a message to Hoth. As I followed him to the training room, I knew gaining his trust would be harder than I thought. Still, it was the only plan that I had.

\--

Biiiitch omg this chapter was TOO MUCH to write like words cannot express. I love the idea that the dark side is something that makes you drunk or high in its own special way. It’s what makes it so addicting. And I just love horny vibes, so I am SORRY if it seeps into everything I write. Ahahah I am also high and listening to Rihanna’s ANTI album. Not hard for me to get into that headspace.


	10. i love her

**x**

* * *

“I can feel you getting stronger,” Ben said when we were finally alone in the training room. He walked by the array of weapons on the wall, as if debating on which one to grab. “Though we barely started our training.”

He grabbed two metal quarterstaffs, the least interesting weapons at his disposal. He untied his cloak and let it fall to the ground. “Surely you know why that is,” I teased.

He threw one of the staffs in my direction. I caught it with ease. “The bond we formed was unexpected, but not unwelcome.”

I gripped the staff in my hands. “Speak for yourself.”

We circled each other. As we did, the energy built between us. It was red and pulsing like a heartbeat. It all exploded when he charged at me. He was faster than I expected for someone his size. His technique was much like his emotions, sloppy and full of stored rage.

Our staffs clashed together so hard, sparks erupted from them. With every strike, I felt the adrenaline take over my body.

I could see how many feared Ben. He was animalistic when he fought. The angrier he got, the stronger he became. It was like a beast with eyes on flesh. Nothing could distract him from that type of hunger.

He used the Force to throw me across the room. I reacted quickly and used the Force to bring my feet back to the floor. I spun my staff in my hand, almost teasing him.

He ran after me and after I dodged his attack, I swiped his ankles with my staff. I hit them as hard as I could. He fell to the ground and groaned. I kicked his staff away from him and held mine near his face.

I couldn’t believe how good it felt to stand over him. He liked it too. His eyes danced around my entire body. It was different than with Rey. She was respectful and shy. He was the opposite. He didn’t attempt to hide his desire.

He grabbed my staff and yanked me forward. Then he used his legs to throw me over his head. I crashed into the ground and felt pain shoot to my back. The bruise would only worsen by tomorrow.

He was on his feet before me. I could tell because I felt him approaching like a roaring fire. By the time I stood, he was arm’s length away.

His hand grabbed my neck. He pushed me onto a wall. His palm was barely touching my windpipe. I felt pressure on my carotid artery, closer to my ear than my chin. He tilted my head, using the side of my jawline.

“Don’t get lost in your victories,” he warned. “Or your emotions.”

I raised an eyebrow to his comment. “ _My_ emotions?”

I pushed against him with the Force. It pulsed inside me and my anger only made it stronger. When I pushed, he pushed back. He enjoyed watching me struggle and that only fueled my rage. I pushed against him again, imagining hands slamming into his chest.

The force of my effort caused him to stumble back. I was breathing heavily from the effort it took. I could tell he was surprised.

“Very good,” he praised, smirking slightly. “The dark side is inside that anger. Do you feel it?”

“Yes,” I answered breathlessly. My entire body was buzzing, as if the very molecules in my body were dancing. I could feel myself lose grip to it.

“Good.” He took a step towards me. “That power will bend to your will, but you must prove to be its master. Don’t let it devour you.”

I tried to control my breathing but all I could hear was my heartbeat. The more I tried to control it, the harder it got to see. Ben watched as I struggled, his eyes looking at every inch of my face. I wanted him away from me and close to me at the same time.

“Focus!” he ordered, grabbing my upper arms roughly.

The rage exploded inside me and I screamed. The dark force pushed Ben across the room. He slammed on the ground and the entire room went dark. I couldn’t see anything, but I could hear Ben groaning.

My vision started to sharpen. Before long, I could see shapes in the dark. My vision got so clear; I could see air molecules. Not only could I see them, but I could move them.

A shape approached me. It was the shape of a woman with eyes as red as rubies. I stopped breathing when I realized it was me.

Was I having a vision?

I reached my hand towards her and she mirrored my movements. I wanted to connect with the figure before me. Something whispered for me to touch it.

Before I could, I saw a pair of brown eyes. It was Rey. It was only a memory that flashed in my mind. It was when we sat in the field and she kissed me for the first time. I could almost smell the lavender scent coming off her.

The memory pushed me from the dark. I was back in the training room with Ben staring at me from across the room. He stomped over to me, furious. He gripped my arm with his hand. “Why did you let her break your focus!”

I just stared at him. Surely if we are bonded, he must know.

“The power you had was rare. You let that _girl_ distract you,” he hissed. There was disgust in his voice. It’s clear that she had the same effect on him. “She is nothing to you.”

“I love her.” The words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. “She’ll always bring me back.”

He wasn’t expecting the confession. He released his grip. “Destroy that feeling.”

I shook my head and closed my eyes. “It’s not possible. You know that better than anyone, don’t you?”

His hand connected to my neck once more. It was rougher, his palm pressed into my windpipe. This time I couldn’t breathe. “I do _not_ love her. Don’t you dare attach such a weakness on me.”

He was disgusted but I could sense it in him. Since our bond, there was no denying it. Rey was the reason Ben couldn’t sleep at night.

“Nothing will distract me from my destiny,” he hissed, his eyes glowing a bright red. “Nothing.”

I extended my hand to the staff and felt it fly to my grip. I slammed it into Ben's side. He released his grip and I kicked his stomach with all my strength. He stumbled back, holding his stomach. His red eyes showed me his rage and determination.

He was ready to fight again and so was I. In a swift move, he tore his shirt off and threw it on the floor.

“Love isn’t a weakness,” I began, twirling the staff in my hand. I was thankful for the love I had for Rey. She saved me from jumping headfirst into the darkness. “Killing love will only leave you weaker than before. You’re familiar with that weakness, aren’t you?”

He charged at me instead of answering. For someone who spent most of his adult life manipulated, he was easy to rile up. The dark side left him without control. He was almost a slave to his animalistic nature. A slave to rage. If it weren’t for Rey, that would have been me.

“I sensed your love for her the moment I saw you,” I instigated. “I see it in you now.”

He screamed and slammed his staff into mine. I blocked myself defensively. His black hair fell into his eyes partially.

“You can’t hide it from me.”

He shook his head and pushed his staff against mine with more force. I stumbled back but remained on my feet. “It’s true, she haunted me.”

My eyebrows pulled together with curiosity.

“It’s because of our bond that I _know_ she will join us.” He said it almost like a vow. “Then nothing could stop us.”

“You know I can’t let that happen,” I warned.

He narrowed his eyes as we circled each other. I couldn’t deny my exhaustion. Fighting all of that power left me drained. “She doesn’t love you,” he hissed. He was trying to rile me up. It didn’t work.

I couldn’t help my cheeky grin. “Are you jealous?”

He attacked me then, catching me in the shoulder. I groaned in pain, jumping away from him. My shoulder was throbbing where his staff hit it. It made me want to hurt him more.

“How did you feel when you saw her kiss me?” I couldn’t help myself. I knew it would send him over the edge.

Before I knew what was happening, I saw a red lightsaber inches from my face. He held his saber in his hand instead of the quarterstaff. The red light flickered inches from my face. I could feel its heat.

“Don’t make me kill you,” he warned. He was breathing heavily, and his eyes were still red.

I knew he wouldn’t kill me. He needed me to get Rey. Still, the saber inched closer to my face.

“You are not destined to be a Jedi. I can see that from how the dark side flows so effortlessly through you. You are meant for something else. That does not include whatever feeble feelings you have for that scavenger.”

Anger swirled inside me. I wanted to punch him in the face. “If my destiny is not the be a Jedi, then it is definitely not to become your apprentice.”

“We’ll see.”

-

This chapter is so short, I knowwwwww. But that’s where is ended organically.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about me, but I really like the idea of Force bonds. Something about being unable to resist someone, is so attractive to me. It probably stems from a lot of psychological issues but let’s not dwell on that and continue to live in this fantasy world.

Also, tonight I made the best garlic mashed potatoes I’ve ever tasted. All a bitch needs is some yummy mashed potatoes can I get an amen?


	11. red room

xi  
" _killing must feel good to god, too. he does it all the time, and are we not created in god's image?_ " -hannibal lecter

* * *

  
I stood in a dark room, barely lit. I could see objects around me, but it was too dark to make out what they were. Even though I was unfamiliar with my surroundings, I felt a sense of calmness. I didn’t know whether I should feel my way across the room or remain still.

“Hello?” I felt myself whisper. I couldn’t hear my voice, though I know my mouth moved.

I began to see some color. It was a red light. It slowly spread across the room, illuminating it. I was in Rey’s quarters on Hoth. It was rather small, just as I remembered. She’d never fight for bigger accommodations. There was a desk, with old books sitting on top of it. The chair was pushed back, as if she just stepped away. I looked at her weapon rack next to the desk. It held her staff, a blaster and her lightsaber.

On the other side of the room was a metal chest. I assumed she kept her belongings inside of it. Her clothes. Probably more books. To the left of the chest, sat her bed. It was bigger than the one she had on Kashyyyk. Perhaps Leia thought she needed more sleep. The bed was unmade, a large white blanket hanging off the side.

Was I dreaming?

A presence entered the room. I knew immediately that it was Rey. I knew her energy. It sparkled like glitter and weighed very little. Her hair was down which was a rarity I was pleased to see. The brunette waves hugged her face. She appeared just as calm as I felt.

I wasn’t moved to question why I was with her. As she approached me all I could think of was how happy I felt. Without her, I resembled a river off course. When she stood close to me, the river returned to its familiar rhythm.  
Her left hand reached for my waist and I wrapped my arms around her. The waves seemed to crash as I felt the force swirl around us. It was marvelous. I felt like _me_ again.

When I felt her lips on my neck, I inhaled sharply. My heart began to thud in my chest, echoing like a drum. I even felt it in my ears as her lips inched closer to my jaw. I grabbed her chin with my hand and brought her face to mine. I kissed her softly at first, relishing in her taste. My grip on her chin slid upward. With my thumb and index finger, I applied light pressure near her mouth.

She opened her mouth obediently and I slid my tongue past her lips. She exhaled and trembled slightly beneath my grip. What a dream it would be to be able to do this whenever we wanted. I wanted that freedom more than anything else.

I pushed her towards the bed, doing what I wished I could in person. She melted into my touch and I enjoyed that power. When the back of her knees hit the bed, she fell backwards. She chuckled, her brown curls laying like a halo above her head. She looked like an angel and I felt like a demon, standing and looking down at her.

I pushed the metaphor out of my mind and climbed on top of her. It felt incredible to touch her freely. She didn’t hesitate for a moment, leaning into my hands. I reached between her thighs and suddenly felt another presence nearby. I looked up and scanned the room.

I knew the presence. It was sad. Exhausted, even.

My hands slid beneath Rey’s underwear and I heard her whimper. I kept looking around the room, waiting for him to appear. It was magnificent to have Rey squirming beneath me. I enjoyed watching her desire erupt. It was hard to keep focused with her acting so appetizing beneath me.

I felt his hand grip my curls before I even knew he was behind me. His other hand squeezed my hip and I felt him push himself against me. I moaned involuntarily and sat up. He let go of my hair and wrapped his arm around my waist. He locked my back against his chest, pulling me into him.

I gasped when he bit my neck. Rey sat up and I looked into her eyes. Lust was an interesting thing. It made the eyes turn a different shade. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly, but her eyes were different. It was like a child seeing sweets for the first time. A greed, almost.

Her hands touched my breasts, squeezing them. I moaned at the sensation that devoured my body. I didn’t even question why they were both in my dream and why it felt so natural to be with them both.

I liked it too much to question it. I felt his lips leave my neck. He grabbed my jaw and turned my head to the side. He kissed me like I was saving him. It was so different from Rey. He dominated every moment and silently commanded you to obey. Though in my nature to resist such authority, it was different with Ben. It was pleasurable to give him control.

None of it made sense but it felt so real. I could taste his tongue in my mouth and I only wanted more. I never wanted it to end. I wanted to feel them both touching and pining after me. I enjoyed having the power. Why lie to myself? I was greedy.

I jolted awake, gasping for air as if I were being suffocated. I was alone in my cell, the red bars still locking me in. I was sweating so I tore off my blanket.

What kind of fucked up dream was that? I understood why I’d dream about Rey. I loved her. I was aching to get back to her.

Why was Ben there? Not only did I accept his presence without a second thought, but I enjoyed it way too much. I was still sweating. I didn’t know what time it was. The lights were all still out. Everyone must still be sleeping.  
I missed Kashyyyk. There was no forest for me to escape in. Instead, I was locked in a small cage. I closed my eyes and tried to feel for Ben. With our bond growing stronger every day, it was getting easier.

He was awake but I couldn’t tell what he was doing. The force around him was sizzling like burning flesh. What could it mean? Perhaps he was frustrated with something.

I knew I felt frustrated. I was longing for something. Anything. Instead I was forced to lay down and try to sleep. The only comfort I had was perhaps if I slept again, I would dream.

**~**

Cardo was the only one that was sent to get me for training. The last time I saw him, I had cut off his canon arm. He replaced it and I suspected it received a few upgrades. His helmet completely hid his face. He might as well have been a droid to me. There wasn’t much on him that reminded me of a human.

“I see you’ve made a few upgrades to your canon,” I commented as I got dressed. I made sure to put my hairpin in my hair, keeping my curls out of my face. If all else failed, the secret weapon was my one back-up plan.

He held out the canon, pointing it in my direction. A small compartment opened, and a small missile-like object poked out of it. “Poison gas pod, for when enemies get too close.”

I smirked. “Are you still angry from our fight?”

He made a noise that resembled a chuckle and the small compartment closed. “It’s because of our fight that I had a chance to upgrade my arm. You won’t get the upper hand next time.”

“Sure,” I replied sarcastically.

He escorted me to the training room again. It was the only room I was familiar with besides my cell. Ben was standing with Trugden. As before, he held his enormous vibrocleaver across his shoulders. It seemed like such a fascinating weapon. I figured it was made of crucible steel with phrik or beskar filaments.

I was thankful Ben had his helmet on. It would be hard to look at his face when I remember my dream so vividly. I could practically feel his arm around my waist and his lips on my neck. My face got hot and I prayed a blush wasn’t too visible.

He said something to Trugden that was too low for me to hear. Trugden looked over in my direction and gave a firm nod. I couldn’t tell if he was looking at me or Cardo. They all wore helmets.

Trudgen walked in our direction. I thought he was going to say something, but he walked past us. Cardo turned and left the training room with him. I was left alone with Ben. We stood in silence again. I kept my eyes busy by looking at the weapons on the walls surrounding us.

“Medics have informed me that Kurkak will never fully recover from the wound you gave him,” he said. His muffled voice echoed in the empty room.

“Aw,” I replied sarcastically. I didn’t care about Kurkak’s recovery.

“He is no longer of use to me.” He began walking towards me. My stomach tightened like a premonition.

The training room doors opened behind me. I looked in surprise to see Cardo and Trudgen helping Kurkak walk inside. He didn’t have his armor on. Instead wore black slacks with no shirt on. His torso, shoulder and arm were bandaged. His head hung down, dirty blond hair hiding his face.

I took a deep breath. Ben was going to kill him in front of me. He was testing me to see where I stood. I felt like I was going to be sick.

Cardo and Trudgen walked Kurkak in front of me. The wounded man was released and fell to his knees. There was no fight in him. Only acceptance and obedience. He still would not look up at any of us. Ben ordered Cardo and Trudgen away. Soon after, it was just the three of us in the metal room. I swallowed hard when Ben approached me. He held something out to me.

When I looked down, I saw his lightsaber extended to me. I looked at his mask with disbelief. He couldn’t be serious.

“Finish what you started,” he almost whispered. “Kill him.”

I tried to think before reacting. I’m sure he could see the discomfort on my face. What would happen if I refused? Should I refuse? I’ve seen this man personally kill my friends during battles. I’ve seen all of them kill rebels. He was not innocent in any way. Killing him would be ridding evil from the galaxy.

I took Ben’s cross guard lightsaber in my hand. I felt the evil within it. If I closed my eyes, I could even hear the screams of innocents murdered by it. I wanted to drive it through Ben’s body. If I did, I wonder how long it would take for them to kill me. I looked at Kurkak. Would he still fight to protect his master?

“I see the monster you’ve hidden so cleverly inside yourself,” Ben began. I felt his words vibrate through my mind. His energy became alive as he looked at me. Did it excite him to see me with his saber? My hand squeezed it tighter. “Let her out.”

I ignited the saber and watched the red plasma stream out of it’s three channels. The quillons emerged after the main blade ignited, like a partially unscrewed light bulb. I could feel the saber relying on it’s vents to prevent an overload. The plasma was not stable. I could sense a cracked crystal underneath the metal. I closed my eyes and felt it’s pain. It wasn’t always cracked. It was whole once.

“Do it,” Ben ordered once more.

I opened my eyes to see Kurkak looking up at me. His face was riddled with scars from years of battles. Surprisingly, he looked older than I anticipated. His eyes were the color of the ocean I jumped into with Rey. Even in a position of vulnerability, I could see the violent storm inside them.

“Do it!” Ben screamed.

The next thing I remember was watching the red saber slice into Kurkak’s chest. It was effortless, like cutting into a cloud. Kurkak’s eyes dulled and I felt the light escaping him. The crystal screamed in horror and I felt my body erupt in the darkness. Kurkak’s lifeless body fell to the ground. I looked at it with disbelief.

I heard Ben take his mask off, but I couldn’t look away from Kurkak. I’ve never killed someone unarmed. It was always in a way, self-defense. This was different. Almost intimate. “Flesh and bone,” I heard Ben say. “That is all they are.”

I felt tears fall down my cheeks as emotion gripped my throat. Ben took the saber from hand as if he didn’t trust me with it. It was the right move. My horror was turning to rage. I hated that he ordered me to do that. I hated that I listened to him.

I slammed my fist as hard as I could on his cheek. I hit his jaw hard and he stumbled back. I didn’t care if he killed me in that moment. The only thing I felt was unfiltered fury. He didn’t ignite his lightsaber but simply blocked my attacks. I was screaming as I hit him, moving faster than I ever have in my life. I wanted to hurt him and make him feel pain. It was so strong, it was as if my blood was on fire.

My actions began to blur until he caught my fist in the air. He pinned my arm behind my back and quickly caught my other hand. With my hands restraining, I jumped and twisted to get away from him. I was screaming, cursing and growling like an animal.

He pulled my back against his chest and I gasped at the memory of my dream. His face was close to my hair and I remembered the pin that held it back. I just wanted to grab it and push it into his eye socket. “Does it despise you that you enjoyed killing him?”

“I didn’t,” I hissed through clenched teeth. I pulled against his grip, but he only tightened his hold. I kept thinking about my dream and it made my stomach tighten.

“You cannot hide your feelings from me,” he whispered. “I can feel it though you are trying to reject it. Killing gives you power and reminds you of your strength. Animals do it all the time.”

“Is that what we are?” My voice was shaking. More tears fell from my eyes. “Animals?”

He released one of my hands and to my shock, he wrapped his arm around my waist. It was too similar to my dream to be a coincidence. I sensed his mouth near my ear. “Yes.”

* * *

**Omg wtf I can’t with this shit. What happened? I wasn’t expecting this but this is where we are so whatever. Also, I hope you aren’t too shocked of the darkness within this fic. I’m a dark bitch, okay? That M rating is not just for eventual sex. I got a lot of daddy and mommy issues. I like villains because they are evil, because they remind us that underneath it all we ARE animals with a constant power struggle.**

  
**Did Amunet enjoy killing Kurkak? I think yes and no. A part of her felt something other than disgust and that enraged her. She felt like a villain which made her want to hurt Ben so badly. And I WONDER why Ben was able to replicate her sexy dream at the end there heh heh heh**

  
**Ya know, the beautiful thing about no one really reading this fic, is I can do whatever I want. This is purely to fulfill my dark needs. I’m def not mad about it hahaha**


	12. mustafar

xii

My obedience earned me freedom. Partially. I was able to have my own quarters. It was a simple room with a small bathroom attached. The color scheme was much like the rest of the station, grey and white tones. The bed was bigger than the one in my cell. Perhaps I’d finally get a full night’s sleep. I was given a desk and chair, but not much else when it came to furniture.

The room had a closet that was full of clothes. Upon further inspection, I noticed the clothes were exactly my size. They were mostly dark tones. I put on a black pair of pants with cargo-like pockets. Most of the tunics were simple with gray and black tones. I even got a pair of mid-calf black boots. I put on a gray top and slid the boots on.

Stormtroopers were a permanent staple outside my room. I was constantly guarded. Though it’d prove to be difficult, I needed to find a way to send a warning to the Resistance. That small plan would have to wait, however.

We reached Mustafar, the planet that birthed nothing but fire. I could hear the troopers discussing it outside my door. I sat on the metal floor with my legs crossed, attempting to meditate. My own feelings were cloudy ever since I killed Kurkak. I was losing sight of myself. The lines between right and wrong were beginning to blur.

I could still remember watching Kurkak’s light evaporate in front of me. Whenever I closed my eyes, I could see it play out like a movie. In that moment, I felt like a monster. It was repulsive and thrilling. I hated myself for it. He was not innocent by any means, but he was unarmed and injured. Still, a part of me enjoyed how strong I felt after I killed him. It was like charging up your blaster and feeling the plasma buzz to life.

My chamber doors slid open. Vicrul and Ushar walked inside. They weren’t holding their usual weapons, which was unusual. Why weren’t they as guarded around me?

“The Supreme Leader is waiting for you on the captain’s deck,” Vicrul mumbled behind his metal mask.

I stood in response but didn’t say anything. I was afraid that if I said something, it would show how unstable I felt. I walked over to my desk and grabbed my hair pin. I pulled half of my hair back and twisted the pin around my curls. I felt better having my secret weapon on me.

Ben was speaking to General Hux when I arrived with Vicrul and Ushar. They looked like they were arguing but Ben looked over at me immediately. My mind went to the memory of him wrapping his arm around my waist. It made my stomach burn. The fact that it replicated my dream exactly was still confusing. I was almost afraid to pursue the truth behind it.

Hux rolled his eyes and looked away defiantly. When we stood in front of them, Ben dismissed everyone but the two of us.

“Supreme Leader is it wise to get this… distracted?” the general questioned him, ignoring his dismissal. I wasn’t sure what type of distracted Hux really meant.

Ben began choking him with invisible hands. I could see the power surge through Ben and suffocate Hux. His energy bled into mine and I felt the dark side fuel my emotions. I enjoyed watching Hux choke and secretly wanted Ben to never let air back into the general’s lungs. “You are not in charge, here. Remember your place, _General_ ,” Ben hissed.

He released the red-haired man, who gasped for air.

“Ready the ship,” Ben ordered Hux, who was still recovering from the assault. He turned to me. “Follow me.”

I walked silently beside him. I was thankful his mind was occupied with something other than the Resistance. The longer he looked elsewhere, the more time they all had to get stronger.

I thought of Rey briefly. I wondered what she would think if she saw me walking beside Ben. She would be just as disgusted as I felt.

He brought me to the pilot hanger. There were dozens of TIE fighters. We walked until we stood in front of Ben’s ship. It was an Upsilon-class command shuttle. I didn’t expect to see his infamous TIE Silencer or ‘The Whisper’. Those were only big enough for one. His command ship was big enough to fit the two of us, plus his knights.

The remaining knights were already on the ship, apart from Kurkak. None of them seemed the slightest bit bothered that one of their soldiers was missing. No one mourned or even questioned where he was.

Ben sat in the captain’s seat and I sat behind him. I felt disassociated as we approached the fiery planet. I could sense the dark side ruled it. It only grew stronger the closer we got.

We were searching for an ancient castle called Fortress Vader. It was apparently Darth Vader’s personal abode. I could sense Ben’s excitement when we landed. It was like a kid finally able to go play after being stuck inside for too long.

“My old master made a ring from black obsidian found under the castle,” Ben said to me as we exited the command ship. “He told me it had a door to the dark side within it, before my grandfather destroyed it.”

“Why did he?” I asked, squinting my eyes until they adjusted to the smoke. What would a door to the dark side even look like? I felt a shiver run up my back.

“No one knows.”

I could smell the burning lava and not much else. The air felt thinner and I found it hard to catch my breath. Ben commanded the knights to secure the area before we continued. They all walked off in different directions, weapons all in hand. In their black armor, they looked like ghosts haunting a battlefield.

“Does anyone live on this planet?” I asked while looking around. The ground was charred dirt. Lava traveled through the area recently. The trees were dead, and some were still on fire.

“Nothing we can’t handle,” he answered confidently.

The knights returned and the area was secure of any life. Ben reached beneath his cloak and pulled out a blaster. He handed it to me. I gripped it and he paused before letting it go. We connected eyes and he almost seemed playful.

“Expect the Alazmec colonists to resist,” he began, letting go of my blaster. “Kill any who cross your path. This castle does _not_ belong to them.”

He ordered us to follow him. I gripped my blaster tightly as we ventured into the burnt forest. He walked without an ounce of fear. At this point, sensing his emotions was as easy as breathing. There was unwavering confidence and power.

“Who are these Alazmec colonists?” I asked Ap’leck, who was walking beside me. He held his scythe close.

“They are Sith cultists,” he answered, his voice muffled by his mask.

“Alazmec of Winsit, they are officially called,” Trudgen added from behind us.

“Yes, they worshipped Ren's grandfather, the Sith Lord Darth Vader. They will defend the castle grounds, that much is certain,” Ap’leck informed. He was knowledgeable. He must have done his research before the mission.

“They won’t be difficult to fight,” Ushar chuckled, his large war club in hand. “They are small.”

I eyed him as we walked. “You’d be wise to remember small things can inflict just as much damage.”

He chuckled. “Aye, I’ll keep that in mind.”

I wasn’t sure how Ben knew where he was going. He’s never been on the planet, though he navigated like he was raised there. I assumed he was depending on the force to show him the way. Before long, Vader’s castle came into view.

The castle itself was larger than I expected. It sat on the edge of a cliff, surrounded by lava. It was so tall and the fog so thick, I couldn’t see the top of it. I could sense life forces inside it.

Suddenly, I felt a familiar feeling in my stomach. It was like a prediction. Life forms were approaching.

Ben ignited his lightsaber and it hummed to life. He felt them coming too.

The Alazmec’s were ready to fight, as predicted. A large mass of them were running down the mountain towards us. Ben twirled his saber around and jumped in place slightly. I could feel his thirst and hunger for the violence approaching.

When they were in range, Ben ran towards them. The knights followed him closely. With all the rage and determination inside him, he didn’t notice me falling towards the back of the group. I felt panic ripple through me the closer we got to the cultists.

The Alazmec’s were small but extremely fast. They had wideset orange eyes and round helmets on top of their head. They ran with blasters and even some bigger canons. Ben used his lightsaber to block every laser aimed at him. He cut through the small creatures with ease. They were no match for him, of course. To him, they were insects.

I couldn’t help but watch in amazement. It was as if the lightsaber was an extension of his arm. He trusted it like it had a mind of its own. He fought with his emotions, which at times made him clumsy. He made up for it with his brute strength.

His knights did not disappoint either. They all seemed to move with the same mind, since they were Force sensitive. It’s like they became one organism, working together in their destruction. It was only a matter of time before the Alazmec charged at me. I held my blaster in my hand and dodged their blasts as best I could. I didn’t want to be the monster I feared I was becoming.

I used the force to disable them. At first, I was attempting to not kill. As the battle progressed, I found it easy to lose my compassion. I felt a blaster hit my shoulder. I swallowed my pain, but Ben was beside me in seconds. His red saber cut through the creature responsible for hitting me.

The pain vibrated through my upper body, but I tried to push it away. I could smell my singed flesh. I felt Ben’s hand on my opposite shoulder. He looked from my injury to my eyes. With his hand on me, his rage was transferred to my body. Seeing me hurt only seemed to increase it. I could barely handle it.

A nearby fire was spreading towards us. From the looks of the dead trees around them, it was a normal occurrence. An Alazmec was running towards Ben with a large stake. They were so fast; I almost didn’t catch it. I lifted it with the force and threw the creature into a nearby fire.

I could hear the creature scream, but I felt no remorse. Ben looked at what I had done and enjoyed it far too much. I watched his dark eyes turn into a glowing red. I pushed his hand off my shoulder. “I’m fine.”

The Alazmec's fought until every one of them was dead. As I stood, looking at all the dead bodies, I wondered if my eyes matched Ben. I could feel the dark side bubbling inside me. I liked feeling powerful but detested how unstable I felt. It was like walking on a thin thread that would break at any moment.

I felt something. A ripple in the Force. Ben felt it too, his eyes followed mine.

“All of you stay here. Amunet and I will proceed alone.”

The Knights did not object. They began rummaging through the dead cultists, taking what they deemed valuable.

Ben and I followed the call. We crossed the bridge leading to Vader's castle. The door had chains over it, locking it shut. Ben was able to slice through them easily. He used the Force to open the large entrance. As the doors opened, air burst through and escaped into the atmosphere. It confirmed a presence was inside.

Ben walked in first and I followed behind him. The grand entrance was dark, and it took a moment for our eyes to adjust.

“Who dare enters this castle?” a voice demanded. It echoed like something otherworldly.

Ben seemed unphased by the voice. “Kylo Ren, Darth Vader’s grandson.”

The monster appeared and I almost gasped. It was a large spider-like species. Instead of a spider’s body, it was a large eye with eight legs protruding out of it. Ben stood in front of me, almost protectively.

“You will tell me where the wayfinder is,” Ben commanded, waving his hand towards the creature.

It blinked. “Mind tricks do not work on me, boy.”

He pointed his saber towards the monster instead. “Tell me.”

“You are his grandchild, that much is clear.” The monster crawled closer to us. I held my breath. It was terrifying. It must have felt my feelings. It looked at me. “Who are _you_?”

“My apprentice,” he answered without hesitation. I swallowed hard. Is that what I was?

The creature didn’t seem satisfied with the answer. Still, it turned away from us. “Since you are his grandson, you have a right to the wayfinder. I have been charged with protecting it.”

The creature looked up at the tall ceiling. It used the Force to pull something down to us. It was a large case. It was dropped before Ben, who wasted no time. He pushed the cover off it and dust flew everywhere.

Inside the case was a small pyramid, about the size of Ben’s hand. He took it in his hands and looked at it, almost longingly.

“That will show you the hidden path to Exegol,” the creature said. I couldn’t tell if it was a warning. “To him.”

“Who?” he questioned.

The spider nodded in its own strange way. “I cannot name him. Be warned, young one. He is the most powerful being in the universe. Approach him with caution.”

I could feel the anger inside Ben at the creature’s revelation. The idea that there was another more powerful than him was repulsive to his ego. He turned to leave without so much as a thank you. The creature looked at me. I turned away from it quickly, hating its attention.

Once outside the castle, he took the opportunity to really look at the wayfinder. It was smaller than I thought it would be. It was a dark object with a dark energy around it. He looked at me with a mixture of pride and determination.

“We will destroy this threat, together.” He said it like a promise he intended to keep. “But we need her first.”

Ever since I killed Kurkak, I felt like I was losing control. Hearing him say we needed Rey only made the feeling worsen. It caused the air to thin even further. “We can do it without her.”

He examined my face with scrutiny. I noticed his eyes lingered on my lips a bit longer than they should have. I felt the burning desire to stab him with my hair pin. “Are you frightened of losing her? Or of her realizing who you really are?”

I looked away from him defiantly. I didn’t know how to answer.

“Perhaps you do not know her like you think you do,” he pointed out.

“But you do?” I hissed, feeling anger grab a hold of me.

He smirked and I saw the resemblance of his father for a moment. He didn’t answer but only walked towards the bridge leading away from the castle. No response was worse than anything he could have said.

I needed to find a way to warn her before it was too late.

-

I did not proof read this, I'm way too high. Idk what the fuck is going on but I'm kinda digging dark Amunet. Not gunna lie. I do wish Ben’s trip to Mustafar was explored more in the movie. It should have been two movies and ill die believing that.

I don’t know where this story is going. I’m just letting it write itself almost. What happens, happens. You can expect a lot of darkness because that is who I am. My favorite TV show is Hannibal for crying out loud. Knowing that should let you know JUST how gay and mentally ill I really am. <3


	13. i'll find you

**xiii**

* * *

I stood silently in the middle of my quarters. I needed to warn Rey and the only way I could was to send a message to the Resistance. My bond with her was weaker than ever. Each step towards Ben Solo, pulled me further away from her. No matter how hard I concentrated or meditated, I couldn’t reach her. A more practical approach would be to send a transmission. That meant I needed to escape my room.

I knew two stormtroopers were standing on the other side of my door. They switched shifts every six hours. I looked at the clock and knew replacements would be coming at any moment. I closed my eyes and waited patiently.

Not a moment later, I heard footsteps approach my door. There was a short conversation muffled by the metal walls in between us. The troopers were switching shifts.

After I was sure the previous stormtroopers were gone, I tipped over my desk without hesitation. It crashed on the ground and I yelled out. The door opened and the stormtroopers walked inside. I forced the door shut with my mind and locked it. The troopers looked at the door and then back to me. They held their blasters in my direction.

I could feel the force extending from my hands, tearing the weapons out of their grasp. I raised my hands towards them and felt the force grip their necks. They gasped and clawed at their armor. In their fits of panic, they even tried to get their helmets off. I didn’t _have_ to kill them, but I wanted to. I wanted Ben to come into my quarters and find his men dead on my floor.

After I sent the transmission, I wouldn’t care what he did with me. If I could save the Resistance, it would be worth whatever punishment he gave me.

I felt their light fade and heard gurgles coming from their mouth. I released them and they crashed into the ground. I didn’t want to waste any time. All it took was a trooper to walk by and see no guards outside my room. I held my hair back with my pin and shoved my black boots on.

I wasn’t sure where I was going. I knew if I went to the transmitter room, I could send a message to Rey. I didn’t know how to get there but I trusted the force to guide me.

I was thankful it was a relatively quiet night. With the big mission completed, it seemed that they were a bit relaxed. I walked around with confidence so if anyone stopped me, I could pretend Ben gave me permission to roam about.

“Amunet!” a voice whispered in my mind. I stopped walking and looked down the empty hallway.

I tried to focus my mind. I even closed my eyes. I felt around me in the force to see if there was anyone trying to communicate with me.

“Amunet!” the voice called out again. It was coming from a nearby hallway. I contemplated on what I should do. The voice was leading me away from the transmitter room. I could feel it. Still, perhaps the force was showing me a different way. A safer way.

I followed the voice and as I ran, it only got louder. The voice belonged to a man. It wasn’t a voice I recognized. Still, I trusted it instinctively.

To my surprise, the voice led me to the ship hanger. Most of it was powered down for the night. I could sense only a few life forms in the entire hanger, probably just on guard duty. The voice called to me again, leading me down the large hanger. I felt like it was never ending. The First Order had an unmatched fleet. The Destroyer I currently snuck around in was only one of many. It was disheartening, seeing how far ahead of the Resistance they were.

The voice led me to Ben’s TIE fighter. It was called the ‘The Whisperer’. He modified it himself. It was the quietest TIE fighter in the galaxy. The fastest as well.

As I was gazing in amazement of the powerful ship, light began to form in front of it. I watched as a man appeared before me. It wasn’t a physical body. It appeared as if he was glowing. The man was tall, with salt and pepper hair that was pulled into a bun. A few wisps of hair fell into his face that made him slightly familiar. His eyes were a startling blue that seemed wise beyond any standards.

“I’ve been waiting for the right time to meet you,” he began. There was amusement in his eyes. “Though, it’s sooner than I anticipated.”

I didn’t know what to do. Was this a Force ghost? “Who are you?”

“My name is Qui-Gon Jinn.”

My eyes widened. I read about him. He almost trained Anakin Skywalker. It was all inside the book Luke Skywalker wrote. This man was the first to achieve immortality.

“And this,” he began, turning to his left. Light appeared next to him as if responding to his cue. A Togruta female appeared before me. She had blue eyes, dark orange skin with white facial markings. She had a slender build with brownish-grey lips. “This is Ahsoka Tano.”

She bowed her head. She had white lekku and montrals with blue stripes. “A pleasure to finally meet you.”

“It’s an honor,” I responded. I wasn’t sure who she was, but I could sense her power.

“We have a message for you,” Qui-Gon began. “It’s about Rey.”

“Is she in danger?” I asked. Just hearing him say her name made me anxious.

Qui-Gon didn’t answer, exactly. He looked at Ashoka briefly before looking back at me.

I got a flashback of the last time I saw her. When Ben connected our minds, she was so angry her eyes were red. In that moment, I knew what kind of danger she was in.

“We are not supposed to interfere with the path you choose,” Ashoka disclosed. There was such depth in her blue eyes, I felt like I was going to get lost in them.

“But we’ve never been ones to play by the rules,” Qui-Gon implored, raising an eyebrow. “And Rey means a great deal to me.”

I narrowed my eyes a bit suspiciously. “Why?”

I saw a glimmer of light in Qui-Gon’s eyes. I couldn’t understand why until he spoke. “She’s my granddaughter.”

I felt the shock ripple through my body. The longer I looked at him, the more of Rey I could see in him. If she knew…

“The future and safety of the galaxy depends on both Rey and Ben,” Ashoka added. “And their fate… unexpectedly… rests in _your_ hands.”

“Me?” I felt my voice shake when I spoke. I didn’t know why I suddenly felt emotional.

“I’m sure you have realized how rare the connection you feel to them is.” Qui-Gon walked towards me as he spoke. The closer he got, the calmer I felt. “The connection between them, however, is even rarer.”

“He can reach her far easier than I thought was possible. He can even connect other people to her.”

“That’s because they are what is called a dyad in the force,” he stated. “Such a thing is so rare; we are not even certain of its origins. The only thing we do know is that it is powerful. Since they are like one person, the scales have been tipped. The further he crawls into darkness, the harder it will be for her to resist it.

I looked down at my feet. Shame clung to me like a robe. It only then dawned on me that I murdered two men less than an hour ago. Did they know? They must.

I felt my chest tighten as Ashoka approached. I felt like she knew what I was thinking, though I felt nothing searching my mind. “At first, we feared they could never find a balance. Then… you came along. We noticed how Ben was pulled from the darkness when Rey was in the light. Without you, she has lost her grip. It has pushed all of you into the dark.”

“She needs you, Moon,” Qui-Gon said softly. He seemed maternal when he spoke, and I could tell he genuinely cared about her. “You are the key to help them find their balance.” He looked back to Ben’s TIE fighter. “This is your only chance to get to her.”

“What about Ben?” I asked.

“Don’t worry,” he assured me. “Ben will follow.”

“One last thing, Moon,” Ashoka requested. “Remember that the force will guide you. Bring them together. The galaxy depends on it.”

Before I could say a word, I heard footsteps approaching. I looked in their direction and then back at the ship. Ashoka and Qui-Gon disappeared.

I pushed away the panic I felt and ran towards Ben’s TIE fighter. I never drove one, though I remembered Poe talking about it after he did. I felt the squad of stormtroopers heading my way. Behind them was a presence I knew too well. It didn’t take him long to find me. I should have known. We were far too connected. My emotions were as clear to him as his were to me.

I was an arm’s length away from ‘the Whisperer’ when my entire body froze. I cursed under my breath and fought against Ben’s grip on me. He was angry; therefore, his strength was tripled.

He turned me around so I could look him in the face. He held the troop back while he approached me. Though his eyes were red with fury, his expression looked dejected. “Where do you think you are going?”

I felt his fury ripple though my body and set my blood on fire.

He got even closer to me and with every step, the feeling increased. “You dare betray me? For her?”

I almost laughed. He was jealous. Even in all his anger, he didn’t like the idea of me choosing her over him.

When he stood a foot away from me, I watched his eyes travel all over me. He released his force hold on me and grabbed my upper arms with his own two hands. “Answer me!”

“I want you,” I whispered so the others wouldn’t hear. The words calmed him as I knew it would. I looked into his red eyes, placed one hand on his heart and inched closer to his face. “I want you just as much as I want her.”

Before he could say anything, I pulled the pin out of my hair. I unsheathed the small dagger and slammed it into Ben’s throat. Blood erupted from the wound and I could feel its warmth on my hand. I pulled the dagger out and kicked him in his stomach. He fell backwards and as the stormtroopers ran towards me, I jumped into the TIE fighter.

I could hear the stormtroopers shooting at the ship, but it was useless. I did my best to channel Poe and was able to get it started. I lifted it from its pod and was shocked at how sensitive it was.

_I’ll find you_ ; I heard his voice say in my mind. _Both of you_.

I was counting on it.

-

Alright bitch idk wtf this is. Its terrible writing because I am once again, Z-O-O-T-E-D. Therefore, this has not been edited or proofread in the slightest. I apologize but it issss what it isss.


	14. escape

**xiv**

* * *

Hoth was an ice planet, long abandoned. At one time it was a secret base for the Resistance. I was sure to relay a familiar code while approaching. Seeing Kylo Ren’s ‘Whisperer’ would not be a welcomed sight.

The further I got from Ben, the more uneasy I felt. I knew it was the right thing to do. Still, I couldn’t deny how uncomfortable I felt. I was growing accustomed to the dark side and how heavy it made you feel. I knew as soon as Rey touched me, she would sense all that I’ve done.

I was thankful for Qui-Gon and Ashoka. They pulled me from the dark and now I would be reunited with Rey. My hands burned with the thought of wrapping my arms around her.

With my code, I was granted clearance. I couldn’t believe how incredible it felt to be among rebels again. Of course, they didn’t know who I was. When I landed inside the ship hanger, I was surrounded my rebels pointing guns at me. I opened the ships door and held my hands up.

“It’s me! Amunet!” I yelled before emerging. I first saw Poe, who immediately dropped his weapon. He looked as if he was staring at a ghost. Soon after, all the rebels dropped their guns. They erupted into cheers as I jumped down. I felt arms all over me and millions of questions being asked.

Poe hugged me so tightly I thought I’d suffocate. A million questions were flying into my ears but all I could do was cry. The energy around me felt like the warmest hug I’d ever received. It made me think of my father.

I pulled away from Poe and grabbed his shoulders. “As amazing as it is to see you, my friend, I escaped to warn you all. The First Order knows where you are. They’re coming for you. We all need to leave now.”

Poe’s smile faded. He brought his fingers to his lips and whistled. It brought all the rebels to silence. He had a general’s face when he spoke. “Amunet escaped to warn us! The First Order is on their way! To your stations! Someone notify Leia immediately. We need our ships packed and off the ground in twenty minutes!”

The crowd obeyed, dispersing in a frenzy. Poe hugged me one more time. When he pulled away, he wiped my eyes. “I’m so happy you are here. We missed you.”

I blushed, unable to stop crying. “Let’s get drunk after we escape.”

He laughed and was about to say something when someone approached. I looked and my heart sank. Just like Poe, Rey looked at me like she was seeing a ghost. Her beautiful brown eyes were already watering. Poe squeezed my hands and then took off running out of the hanger.

With every step towards me, I felt her energy a bit stronger. It was like being reunited with a soul that sat inside your body for years.

She ran to me and we collided in an embrace. The sensation of her bond showered over me. I could barely breathe but I wouldn’t dare pull away. Waves of calmness and light washed over me. I felt cleansed.

“I never thought I’d see you again,” Rey cried in my neck.

She pulled away and pressed her lips on mine. Even with the approaching threat, I never wanted her lips to leave mine. My hands moved to her cheeks with my fingertips inched into her hair. It was like feeling the sun on my body after a long winter. I’d never forget what it felt like.

“As touching as this is…” a familiar voice interrupted.

We pulled away from each other in a panic to see Leia standing in front of her. She had a smile on her face, as if to disarm us. Rey’s face became as bright as a tomato and she couldn’t look Leia in the eyes.

“I believe we should be escaping?” Leia teased. Her eyes were playful. I smiled and ran to hug her. We had never hugged before, but it felt right. “Crazy girl,” she whispered in my ear. There was almost emotion in her voice. “Don’t scare me like that again.”

“I know and I’m sorry for everything,” I replied, pulling away from our embrace. “What do we need to do?”

“Rey, collect your things and prepare for departure,” Leia ordered. Rey mumbled something in return and then left the hanger without looking into her master’s eyes. Leia turned to me. “You follow me, we are meeting with the generals to discuss where the hell we are going to go.”

I laughed and followed her. In the second ship hanger, one much larger, her generals were already waiting for her. They stood in a circle, talking amongst themselves. They stood straight when they saw Leia.

“My son…” Leia began before walking to the circle. “How is he?”

I knew what she wanted me to say. She wanted me to say anything positive about him, something for her to grip onto. I knew Ben was trapped by the dark side; his addiction was irresistible. “He is lost,” I replied. I watched an emotion grip Leia, but she pushed it away quickly. “But not forever.”

We reached too close to the generals for her to reply without them hearing. She gave me a firm nod before greeting the men and women.

There were so many ways the First Order could attack. They hoped to escape before the enemy’s arrival. I knew the odds weren’t in our favor. As they discussed possible planets or a simple direction to go in, I couldn’t help but notice how much smaller the Resistance felt since Kashyyyk.

Even their belongings were all dwindling. Before I knew it, the twenty minutes were up. Poe was already getting in his speeder. I would be in one too, but I waited to get inside it. I needed to make sure Rey and Finn got on the Millennium Falcon.

After a couple minutes, I saw Rey. Finn was closely behind her. They were bringing their belongings to the Falcon. When Rey saw me, she tugged on Finn’s arm. After getting his attention, she pointed vigorously towards me. Finn’s eyes met mine and I watching his smile grow. He beamed like the sun. They ran in my direction and Finn scooped me up in his arms.

He wiped tears from his eyes after our embrace. “I can’t believe you escaped! I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

“I had help,” I responded. I could see the confusion on their faces.

Leia interrupted by clapping her hands loudly. “Every pilot to their speeders and everyone in the command ships! Now!”

I looked at both Rey and Finn one more time. I held out my hands. In response, they each grabbed one of my hands. “We have a lot to discuss. When we are safe.” I squeezed their hands as if the reaffirm what I said. “So, stay safe.”

They gave me a nod and then ran towards the Millennium Falcon. I felt my chest tighten the further they got. I pushed the anxiety away and climbed into my X-Wing. I put my communicator on so I would be connected to everyone. Poe’s voice rang as I turned my engines on.

“Let’s keep a tight formation around the command ships. If the First Order finds us, we are the only protection they have,” Poe ordered. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves.

“May the force be with you all,” Leia’s voice filled my ears. It was almost like a spell, the phrase. It was simple but resonated with me the strongest.

The large iced doors in the bigger ship hanger opened lowly. I felt all the vibrations of the ships preparing to take off. They didn’t decide on a planet, knowing the First Order would have its talons in the obvious choices. They would fly as far as they could without burning through all the fuel and continue discussing their possibilities.

The rising sun was blinding and when my eyes adjusted, my heart sank to the bottom of my ship. I could see TIE fighters in the sky. Poe yelled for them to take off and head straight for the fighters. My heartbeat rang in my ears.

A flash of Ben’s face crossed my mind. I caught my breath in my throat. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that he was among the TIE fighters. Even though it would take the rest of the First Order longer to arrive, he wouldn’t pass up a chance to get to us first.

Poe ordered Rey to distract them with the Falcon. I felt the words squeeze my heart. There wasn’t time to dwell on my feelings. In a second, we were out of the hanger and flying as fast as we could towards the fighters. Rey led us, then moved sharply away from the group. I watched as almost half of them followed her. I tried to reach out and sense Ben, but it was too hard to focus. I dodged attacks and Poe ordered me to stick close to the command ship. He took a squad on the offense.

We stayed low until there was an opening for our escape. Two TIE fighters were closing in on us and after locking onto their position, I fired my canons. The fighters flew away and tried to dodge the canons. They failed and I cheered as they exploded into fire.

 _I told you I’d find you_ ; I heard a voice say in my mind. It was Ben.

I was surprised how easy it was to smile at his comment. He reminded me of a child that got his toy taken away. In the chaos, I tried to focus on his presence. I found his TIE fighter faster than I thought. He was chasing us. His energy was red and sparkling like fire.

“Poe, Ren is behind me. I need backup.”

Before Poe could answer, the Falcon was suddenly approaching. It was flying full speed and I could feel Rey’s anger through all the distance. She shot at him, which broke his path towards the command ships.

“Moon, there isn’t any time. You need to escape with the command ships. We will hold them off as long as we can. We will create a path for you. When it’s clear, jump to light speed.” Poe commanded, already pulling the offense squad together.

“I’m not leaving this fleet!” I yelled, felling my stomach tighten at the thought of being separated again. “You need all the help you can get!”

“That’s an order!”

I felt panic ripple through me. My brain screamed all the things that could go wrong at once. It was deafening.

 _Ready for the jump, Amunet,_ I heard Leia say in my mind. _Trust the force._

As Poe said he would, there was a pathway created. An opening for escape. I gripped the steering tighter and swallowed my fears. “Ready for the jump in three… two… one!”

-

What the hell was this? I hated writing this chapter and I’m sure when I reread this sober, I’ll be horrified. I just wanted them all to talk but had to have them all hurry to escape. The next chapter will be better. Forgive me until I come back and edit it all<333333333


	15. planet xxy634-3

**xv**

-

Even though it was infamous for its criminal activity, we escaped to the Outer Rim. It seemed the most logical place to hide. The Outer Rim was the least identified, meaning the chances of finding an uninhabited planet was much higher. It was a place for outlaws. So unlawful that even the First Order could not pull it into its regime.

The planet we found didn’t even have a name and only one data entry. It was logged as Planet XXY634-3. It was a planet suitable for human life, though we did not know if it had any current inhabitants.

It had heavy vegetation with thick trees that were taller than any building I’d ever seen. It would provide a good cover until the Resistance got back on its feet.

While the rebels were busy unloading the speeders and cargo ships, I found myself constantly checking the radars for incoming ships. We sent out an encrypted message so any rebels that managed to escape the fight could find the new base. Everyone was on edge and ready for action at a moments notice. After barely escaping with our lives, it seemed as if we were waiting for the First Order to show up at any moment.

I knew Ben would be foaming at the mouth. He had to be desperate to make me pay for escaping. Of his many flaws, his anger was the worst of them all. It would pivot him from his intended path and blind him to what was important. When I closed my eyes, I could almost feel his heated energy.

“Trust in the force, Moon,” Leia spoke, suddenly beside me. “They will find us.”

I looked away from the radar and smiled softly at her. “I will try, Master.”

She placed her hand on my shoulder and looked at me with a soft expression. It reminded me of a mother looking at their child. There was love in her eyes and I did not expect it. “I sense a lot of confusing emotions sitting inside you.”

I felt ashamed suddenly, as if she could see all that I’d done on Ben’s ship. “I felt a pull to the dark side while I was with Kylo Ren. It was… hard to resist.”

Leia did not look upset. She didn’t even look surprised. “My son is _very_ persuasive. He was like that even as a child. I was shocked at what he could convince people to do. A quality I believe his father gifted him. No one could talk their way out of something like Han.”

I chuckled softly and it felt good. I had felt so much worry and anger, I almost forgot what it was like to laugh. “I don’t doubt it.”

Leia squeezed my shoulder lightly. “All of us have a battle inside. In some, that war rages on for centuries and some are bloodier than others. Even those full of light have their shadows.”

“Even you, master?” I questioned, my eyes looking at her face for reassurance.

“Of course,” she scoffed. “Nothing made me feel weaker than when I lost my son. In moments like that, nothing will make you feel stronger than giving into the dark side. When you are weak, it will call to you like it is your only salvation.”

I couldn’t look away from her eyes and my shoulder burned where she squeezed it.

“As tempting as it is, nothing will make you feel complete like the light. You are always wanting and hungry in the dark. Though it takes more effort and willpower, the strength from the light side is built on solid foundation. Don’t lose faith in it.”

I felt emotion swell inside my chest and tried to swallow it. Before I could speak, the radar in front of me beeped. My eyes flew to it, watching as a ship approached the atmosphere. “A ship!”

Rebels that heard me, rushed to the scanners. Leia watched calmly as the ship flew closer. I looked up in the sky, desperate to see something.

“Could it be the First Order?” I asked, a small hint of fear in my voice.

“No,” Leia replied with a smile. “It’s her.”

Seeing the Millennium Falcon never made me so happy. I felt my spirits soar as I ran to the field clearing. All the rebels followed me, cheering at the sight. Somehow the old ship brought hope to everyone. It was the spirit of Han, Luke and Leia. If it was still with us, somehow everything was going to be okay.

Finn was the first to emerge and I ran as fast as I could in his direction. When I felt his arms around me, it was like hugging the sun. I could feel his fear and anxiety, but also his determination. Our hug was interrupted by Poe who seemed desperate to hug him. I watched with a smile as Poe buried his face in Finn’s shoulder.

Chewie and Rey emerged next, with R2D2 following behind them. When her eyes met mine, I started to cry. When we wrapped our arms around each other, I could feel her crying in my neck.

“Thank the stars,” I breathed, feeling her energy invade my entire body. I felt warm and lighter than I could ever remember. I was so afraid Ben killed them or worse, kidnapped her. Having her in my arms was sweeter than anything I deserved.

She pulled away from my hug only to kiss me, not caring that anyone was around to see. I could feel eyes on us, but I didn’t care. Her lips tasted salty from sweat and tears. When we parted, I wiped the tears falling down her cheeks. She smiled so wide and seemed so happy to be near me.

It took a long while for the rebels to go back to work and Leia or Poe didn’t push them. Everyone was tired and beat but elated to be safe once again. Some were determined to get back to work, while others opened some ale to toast their escape.

“We barely escaped,” Finn commented to Poe and I. “The only one who wouldn’t let up was Ren. Even when his fighters died or pulled back, he kept coming.”

I looked over at Rey who was already looking at me. “He’s angry that I escaped,” I replied.

“How did you escape?” Rey asked, passing me an ale.

I cracked it open and began telling them everything that happened to me. I decided to leave many details out, mostly out of shame. I mentioned Mustafar and what Ben was after. I didn't mention Kurkak and how murdering him granted me my own quarters. When my memories brought me to Qui-Gon Jinn and Ahsoka Tano, I decided to keep most of their information to myself. Rey’s lineage and connection to Ben seemed like sensitive information that I thought Rey would like to know without an audience.

“I’ve read so much about both of them,” Rey gasped, her eyes sparkling like diamonds. Poe and Finn looked confused but Rey kept smiling. “They are legends among the Jedi. It must have been such an honor. Did they reveal much to you?”

I cleared my throat. “Mostly about the Resistance being in danger and that I needed to escape. They lead me to the hanger where I could steal the ‘Whisperer’. When Kylo Ren found me, I was able to wound him and escape before they killed me.”

“You wounded him?” Poe questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah I um, stabbed him,” I answered, uncomfortable suddenly. “In the neck.”

Rey’s eyes widened and Poe hooted. “Damn that must have felt good!”

I chuckled and avoided Rey’s eyes. “I did what I had to do.”

We continued to drink together, feeling happy in each other’s presence once more. Finn seemed glued to Poe’s side, while Rey was happily by mine. Soon enough, it felt like we never parted.

Since there was no base set up, the rebels set up tents and canopies made from cloth to sleep under. Finn helped me set up a tent while the rest of the rebels decided to have a bonfire. It was nice to release tension and the alcohol was relaxing my muscles.

I watched Rey walk into the Millennium Falcon and slipped away before I could be spotted. She was showering in the crew’s quarters. I knew she could feel my presence when I opened the door.

She was standing in the shower, the water falling on her head and down her body. She looked over at me and did nothing to cover herself. I couldn’t help but let my eyes wander all over her naked body. I felt my chest tighten and my stomach tingle.

Without a word, she held out her hand to me. I stripped my clothes off as her eyes followed my movements. I stepped in the shower and she pulled me under the hot water. It felt amazing.

She lathered soap in her hands and began washing my shoulders. I felt tingles all over my body as she bathed me. My heart was beating so loud I was sure she could feel it as she washed my chest.

Her hands curved over my breasts and I exhaled sharper than I anticipated. I felt so touch starved that everything she did shocked my body. Her hands lathered my waist and then down my hips. I moaned when her hands crept between my legs. In that moment, a fire sparked inside of me.

I pushed her against the shower wall, making her look at me. Her doe eyes were such a warm brown, I felt entranced. Her pouty lips called me, so I kissed her, pressing my naked body against hers. One of my hands gripped the back of her neck while the other traipsed down her body. I gripped her thigh and pulled it to my waist. That made her moan in my mouth. Nothing ever sounded so delicious.

“Moon,” she sighed as I kissed her neck. “Take me to bed.”

My knees suddenly felt weak.

“Please,” she begged, gripping my arm.

It was nothing to lift her in my arms and leave the shower. Even with our bodies soaking wet, I laid her on one of the beds in the crew’s quarters. Her wet hair spread on the blankets like a halo. I dreamed of having her beneath me but that didn’t prepare me for the real thing.

She was looking up at me, breathing heavy and desperate for release. It made my mouth water.

I devoured her body like it was my last meal. She tasted so sweet; nothing could pull my lips from her. I enjoyed watching her shake with pleasure and would never forget how she gripped my hair.

She surprised me by rolling on top of me. Her petite frame was stronger than it looked. She was timid at first, but once she got a taste of the power that she had over me, nothing held her back. She was smaller than me but had a ferocity that I didn’t expect.

The energy exchanged between us only made the bond stronger than before. I never felt so connected to someone in all my life. My mind traveled to what Qui-Gon told me. I had a special bond with both Rey and Ben. I was what pulled them together.

Why the force chose me, I would never know. I’d be grateful for it, however. To experience such a bond seemed otherworldly. Almost too good to be true.

“I love you, Moon,” Rey whispered. Her eyes were heavy with exhaustion and happiness.

A big smile spread across my cheeks and I felt my face grow hot. “You do?”

She nodded, touched my damp curls.

I kissed her and whispered against her lips, “I love you too.”

-

 **It’s getting hot in here…. So take off all yo clothes. I AM GEEETIN SO HOT, I WANNA TAKE MY CLOTHES OFFFF. Hahahah y’all, I couldn’t resist it anymore. It may be rushed, it may be badly written, but I NEEEDED IT. I was going to go into deeper details but then I realized I needed a tasteful way to say vagina and clit and girlllll, I couldn’t. It couldn’t be that story. And j** **ust like Moon, I am too touch deprived to deny their sex any longer.**

**Also, I’ve been distracted from this story because of depression and I’m trying to write my own novel. However, I needed a fun little break from all that shit. So here I am, delivering terribly written lesbian sex. You is welcome.**

**More to come**

**Eventually**


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